My Beloved World of Darkness
by scorpionika
Summary: AU, SLASH. Harry Potter, after the end of the war, travels back in time in order to protect Wizarding World from the Dark Lord, but ends up stuck in the body of an infant! How will he deal with world made of darkness? Will he find his own happy ending?
1. Prologue

**Title : _„My Beloved World of Darkness"_**

**Author : scorpionika**

**Rate : T (for now)**

**Warning : AU, mild swearing and future slash**

**Disclaimer : JK Rowling owns everything, I only mess up with her characters. **

**Summary : _After the end of war Harry Potter decides to change the modern history – from the very beginning But he doesn't specify 'the beginning' and ends travelling to the day he was born. Now, stuck in the body of an infant, he begins preparation for the attack of the Dark Lord and works on saving people. _**

_**But, what to live for after the work is done?**_

**AN : I'm not British, nor American. I'm from Poland. Every mistake belongs to me – I don't have a Beta. **

Prologue – normal text

_'Prologue' – _thoughts

_Prologue _- highlights in the normal text

..: oOoOo :..

Harry looked at the landscape stretching before him. All around was blood and bodies – fallen to the ground, unmoving. There were no moans of pain, no tears, no life. The war was won, but there weren't any soldiers to celebrate the victory. He felt wetness in his bloodshot eyes.

_No._

No one was by the side of very tired and very dirty Harry Potter – and it was _his fault. _As usual, he hadn't thought about consequences of his actions. And this time, he had no luck, and had to pay great price for his carelessness. Death of his entire existence – his friends, his teachers, his home - Hogwarts.

The war has been getting gradually worse from the time Dumbledore had been murdered at the end of Harry's sixth year – the Daily Prophet was suddenly and without the reason closed, Ministry was getting more and more corrupted, in the same time trying to cover mass attacks while all good wizards who were actively acting against that policy were quietly fired, and Voldemort raided Muggle world nightly.

It was a nightmare. Harry escaped from the Dursleys' household at midnight 31th of July – his birthday – and no one from Wizarding World heard from him ever since.

Half of the year that passed he searched the Horcruxes and managed to find the Slytherin's locket, the Hufflepuff's goblet and Ravenclaw's diadem. They, along with Riddle's diary and Gaunt's ring which had been got rid off earlier, created the list of items – five of the seven. Harry had no idea were to look at the last two – he didn't even know what they were. He had also no clues he didn't already use and no further trails. The Boy-Who-Lived was truly and utterly lost.

The school and the Order of the Phoenix fell when he was getting drunk on the outskirts of Hogsmead, in pub seedier than Hog's Head, with the help of refilling shot glass of magical vodka. It was a chilly December night. He was just getting dizzy when the amplified by the spell voice of the Dark Lord was heard in the village, shouting about the capture of the last remaining forces of the Light and making a public execution.

Harry knew he wasn't thinking straight. He knew he would regret it dearly. But alcohol in his bloodstream and suddenly awaken magic dulled the worry, and he run off in the direction of the voice, to the Hogwarts' grounds.

The Death Eaters were stunned into inaction, and Harry took advantage of that, quickly getting before Voldemort. The Dark Lord wasn't looking surprised and the teenager guessed that Riddle felt him coming through their weird bond.

Neither of them hesitated with firing the most lethal curses and soon the night was bright with green of Avada Kedavra Curse. Harry though, was quickly loosing control of his magic – he has been barely using it in the past six months for fear to be traced, and now – it was _too much. _Alcohol helped too to forget about limits and people around him, who were watching history being written by the two powerful man. Harry let his anger and hatred to take hold of his wand for just a few seconds – and in the next moment, the Dark Lord was dead – among with every other person within – it seemed – kilometers.

"Hello? Is somebody there?" he shouted weakly, still hoping for an answer.

He got none.

Harry Potter won the war – but still failed. 

The Boy-Who-Lived stood in the middle of battlefield, which once was a school yard, dazed, his eyes gazing at the sight before him. His mind was catching up with the sight before him and soon he was filled with repulsion for himself, his world, his life... Hate was all he felt...

... and he couldn't stand it. But he was far too weak at the moment to attempt something as crazy and legendary as going into some another universe, somewhere where he didn't have blood on his hands and deeply scarred soul. He was too exhausted, magically and physically, he would probably die trying to breach unbreakable gates of his world. And to commit a suicide would be a cowardice, a slap in his mother's face. Also, deep down he knew that, despite everything, he didn't want to die.

So, after short deliberation and some small healing charms, he knelled down on the moist earth with pained grunt. '_Why not try? I have nothing to loose' _he decided, small tear sliding down his cheek_._ Harry bowed his head and touched the mud below him with fingertips, feeling it going under his nails with desperation of a frightened animal, and then climbing higher, on his palms, wrists and arms. He closed his eyes and relaxed, mentally drawing power from his surroundings – cooling dead bodies, still warm blood and mutilated landscape. The more magic he felt, the shallower his breathe became, and more pain he experienced – mostly coming from within his soul, from his very core.

Finally, when he felt like he was going to burst from the energy accumulated somewhere inside his heart, he started preying to imaginary god he had created long before he knew about his magical heritage, in his dark cupboard under the stairs. He had named the god Lion King, after some silly Disney movie he had seen ages ago, probably in primary school. It was his protector – it was his guardian angel – majestic and prideful, invincible and merciful. Lion, the King of the jungle.

Painfully, agonizingly slowly, he heard in his mind the ticking of Time slowing down, and then entirely stopping. For few eternities he feared he wouldn't do it, so weak, so pathetic, his insecurities chanted gleefully, but after a moment the youth tensed, the power coiling like a serpent within his body, and he knew that he succeeded from the strong, chilling wind and some wailing noises of divine forces ringing in his ears.

He didn't dare to open eyes, feeling dizzy just of what other senses were telling him – that he indeed is travelling _through the time and space_, without his body, to the moment it _all _started.

He didn't know when this moment _exactly was_, only that something important was happening there, and therefore he had to be there. So he urged his magic, mental pleas getting louder, and everything around him rushed at great speed, only to completely halt seconds after.

For a few breathes all air that surrounded him was still, and he was warm and safe, in fact safer than he had ever felt in his life...

And then some weird force pushed him, head first, out, into the bright, loud, painful world, and he _once again_ opened his baby blue eyes for _the first time_ in his life. The light hit him in the full force and he felt cold hands grab his odd feeling body, which was convulsing on its own accord. The feeling of warmness was forever gone, and Harry Potter, newborn son of James and Lily Potter, wailed at its loss.

..: oOoOo :..

James Potter chocked the water he was drinking when he heard the first cries of his child, coming from behind the white painted doors. He twisted his face to look at his three mates who were watching the doors with wide eyes and giggled at their expressions.

„Guys! I'm a fucking father!"

Three pairs of eyes turned to him, each holding different emotions within. Brown eyes looked frightened, grey orbs – disbelieving, and golden – amused. The owner of the third pair answered with laugher.

„Gods, only you could said something so crude , listening to the first howls of your child. Insensitive prick..." he reproved, on behalf of Lily.

„Better to us than to his sweetheart, you know, Rem... she would have his head if she heard that," Sirius shuddered. No one mocked him – the woman _was_ dangerous.

„When did ya get so wise, Blackie?" Peter pouted, still annoyed at his friend for his latest joke he pulled on him – glamouring his belly to look like he is pregnant and has tits. The charm still didn't wear off and Sirius didn't know how to spell it off him. '_Stupid bastard.'_

„When you were out, dating that pathetic Slyth bitch who dumped you in front of the whole school." taunted Padfoot, getting a bit of sick pleasure from aggravating defenceless boy.

Peter's eyes narrowed, but their calmer werewolf friend put his hands on both their shoulders.

„Kids, play nice..." he murmured, earning himself whined „Muuuum!" from two other males. Remus chuckled. '_They are so infantile_...'

And yet, one of their pack was now as adult in eyes of his wolf side.

_'James has a cub. He'd have to grow up, and soon.'_

_'Poor man...'_ was Remus' last thought before the white door all of them were staring at swung open and the female Healer came in.

„Mr Potter?"

James stood up, anxiously writhing his hands.

„Wha-?"

The Healer cut him off with ease and patient smile.

„Congratulations. You have a son."


	2. My first breath

**Title : _„My Beloved World of Darkness"_**

**Warning : AU, slash, chan, smex, language, angst**

**Disclaimer : JK Rowling owns everything, I only mess up with her characters. **

**AN I : I'm not British, nor American. I'm from Poland. Every mistake belongs to me – I don't have a Beta. **

**AN II : For a slashy part of a story, you'll have to wait a bit xD but I promise it will be worth waiting for :P In this chapter I paint characters OOC, because I don't want them to be perfect. I love Sirius, but he is a jerk sometimes. Don't worry – everyone has to grow up one day. **

**O.o I'm floored. Five positive reviews for Prologue in my first story ever! I'm so glad that I finally managed to overcome my self-consciousness :)**

**Enjoy!**

Prologue – normal text

_Prologue – _thoughts and highlights in the normal text

..: oOoOo :..

What the fuck.

What _the fuck?_

_What the fuck is going on?_

Harry's thoughts were frantic and he couldn't concentrate on any topic for a longer time, which truly annoyed him. Hungry_! Cold! Where am I? Don't touch me, fucker! My head hurts! I wanna food! Fuuuuuuck!_ Someone's enormous, soft hands were holding him, he was freezing, he was wet and his headache was killing him. What's more – he couldn't _see_ anything except too bright whiteness, which hurt his delicate eyes and made him cry and wail and kick and scream. He tried to free himself from the long fingers but they only tightened, which resulted in even louder screams from Harry. _Do you wanna break my ribs, idiot?_

Then, there was a soothing hum of a familiar, but forgotten tune, and soft fabric, and warmness. _Not wet. Safe. Good._ The infant slowly quietened down, and for a moment there was silence in the room, but suddenly he felt his stomach clench as if he haven't eaten anything in few days, and it growled loudly. Young Harry started shouting again, not being able to restrain the natural urge to announce the world that _I'M F$&ING HUNGRY AND NEED TO EAT RIGHT NOW!_ But when he felt hot flesh being pushed into his open in scream mouth, he stopped inward tirade of _WTF_s and hesitated. _Is it meat? Why so warm? Why it pulse? Is it alive?_ He calculated his situation. He was hungry, there was meat on his tongue, but even if it _was_ alive how could he resist? So he mentally shrugged and bit – as hard as he could.

High-pitched outcry sliced through the still air in the room but Harry almost didn't notice, overwhelmed by his new discovery – _Where are my teeth?_

Stunned by the revelation he didn't protest when he was gently pulled away from his mother's nipple. Someone pushed his little finger into their mouth and started sucking it lightly, which he deduced was a demonstration of what he had to do with a meat. _Great, now they wanna me to suck it – it sucks, what the fuck I'll have from sucking meat – Coca Cola?_ When the flesh was once again between his lips, he kept biting with toothless mouth, which only caused him being completely pulled away from the warmness. Harry panicked and started crying and whining again, inwardly begging. _Okay, I'll suck it! Just give it back! I'll be a good boy, promise..._ His action was awarded and anew he felt _it_ invading his mouth. This time he decided to trust an unknown human and sucked dutifully, and ...

_O. My. God._ He thought, closing his tired from crying eyes in bliss.

_Heaven._

Lukewarm, thick fluid filled his mouth, sliding down his throat, to stomach... The feeling was exhilarating. He sighed through his nose and blinked few times sleepily, content now with himself and the world around him.

Lily Potter, drifting to exhausted slumber with her son's lips around her nipple would have swear that she saw a hint of smile on her baby's face.

..: oOoOo :..

James froze in shock when he stepped into the room behind the white door, his three friends watching the scene from doorway. The sight of his beloved wife, pale, drained, but sleeping peacefully was one reason for that – but there was also another. Lying on her bare breast, _he_ was. His son.

Just father was speechless.

_Wow_.

James felt more than heard a person behind him, and he turned with an almost maniacal grin on his face.

„He is-"

He wanted to say „perfect", but was cut off by his supposedly _best friend._

„He is an ugly runt, ain't he? You sure it's yours?"

There was one gasp and one muffled giggle at the comment from the doorway. James' face slowly turned red in anger and righteous indignation. _How dare he..._

Fist connected with Sirius Black's nose faster than any of the room's occupant could see and the handsome youth stumbled backwards, disbelief on his face. Hazel-eyed, black haired young man stood tense in front of him, eyes narrowed into tiny slits. By the time James relaxed his hands they were both panting in anger.

"What the fuck, Black? Are you insinuating my wife's infidelity, or are you just an idiot?"

Gone was playful and carefree Jamie: on scene was now protective and responsible James, head of the Potter family and future Lord.

Sirius Black hadn't got it, apparently.

"Potter, by your action I think you came to the same conclusion!" He said in mock-cordial tone, as if the young father just won the game show. "Snivelus's better than you in bed, would have thought? Truth hurts, Jamie?" asked with faked concern.

Prongs saw red. Literally.

The bright spell speeded from behind him and hit Padfoot square in chest. The male with bloodied face froze in mid-move and fell inelegantly on the floor, painting with his nose smear on the linoleum. James swirled around to look at the attacker, wand in hand, most lethal curses on his tongue, but was only met with the sight of his wife, tucking her 10 and ¼ inch willow wand into the sleeve of white hospital gown and buttoning it up. He sighed with relief and smiled softly at her, bad mood all but forgotten.

"How d'ya feel, Lovey?" he asked, not even realising sappiness in his question.

Lily Potter looked at him blankly before answering – her at first calm voice getting more and more agitated.

"Well, despite rather _rude_ awakening" she glared at the Stupified adult "and the fact that my husband chickened out of accompanying me at the birth of his first son" the Glare was now directed at James, who looked away, blush on his cheeks "I feel remarkable." The last statement was meant to be sarcastic, but hazel-eyed man didn't catch it.

He perked up visibly. _Really? _

"Really, darlin'?" he asked with a hopeful smile and spark in eyes. _Didn't think that she would want to fuck right after … _his trail of lustful thoughts was cut off.

"Don't even think of it, James Henry" she snapped at him, clearly pissed. "For telling me that you have 'gore-phobia' when I was having contradiction, no sex till next century. End of the story!"

At this head of the Potter family blanched and hung his head, but Lily wasn't paying attention to his husband any more. She gestured for Remus to come closer and sit on her bed, smiling brilliantly when he obeyed, her face nearly glowing at her best friend when he started petting tenderly the head of the newborn.

"How are you, my Big Bad Wolf?" Lily teased with a facetious grin. James instantly felt jealous, but squashed the feeling inside himself – his wife didn't like his possessive side very much, especially when it came to Moony. But still – _her Wolf?_

"I'm great, Lilian. More importantly – how are you? And little Harrison? Was delivery as tough as you thought it will be? Do you need more rest? Because if you're tired, we can come later..."

"Remy, you're totally rambling!" Lily stated with laugher. "I swear, you're more excited about it that me! I'm fine!" At his dubious look, she scoffed. "Honestly, I'm fine! A bit tired, but I don't want you to go." She assured her best friend. "The labour lasted longer than I'd expected, and was painful, and there was _so much _blood, like, everywhere, and it felt weird when there was like half-dozen people staring at my crotch..." she trailed off, remembering with half-smile half-grimace. "But, well" she sighed, gazing lovingly and caressing her son's face" – it was worth every second!"

All three of them chuckled, both men laughing quietly at Lily's childish enthusiasm. They lapsed into easy silence, each of them wondering about different things. Remus wondered about personality of the young Harry and how will his inner wolf see the new member of the pack – Lily relived birth of her son and James – James as always thought about sex. _She is in good mood – maybe there are still chances... _

Tranquil atmosphere was shattered when suddenly Remus froze, and his eyes widened. _What was that?_

"Ekhm, Lilian dear?" he asked, attempting to stay sedate.

"Hm?" she asked absently, not turning her gaze from the sleeping infant. James, on the other hand, noticed his friend's distress in tense posture and anxious undertone in his voice, and in few steps was kneeling beside the bed, looking up at Remus' face.

"Moony, what is is?"

The panicked tone of her husband caused Lily to snap her attention back to dear to her werewolf. He had frightened expression. _Oh, no...what is it?_ She repeated after her husband inside her mind, mouth not cooperating. _Not Harry. Please._

"What are you talking about? Something's wrong? Remy, tell me!" She was getting nervous.

" I-I..." he took deep breath and continued "I don't know, it's probably nothin'" He answered sounding unsure and stuttering slightly. "But, there is something, something which feels rought, like...like just under his skin. On his back..." He answered the questioning gazes "between the shoulder blades."

"Not spin?" asked Lily, gently trying to turn around the newborn without waking him. Slowly, Harry was turned to lay on his belly on his mother's lap, and uncovered. All three adults started delicate poking and prodding, and after short examination by their wands they were all sure – there was in fact something hard, under the skin on Harry's back, which was certainly not a bone.

James run from the room, calling frantically for a Healer, eyes wide in fear for his Harry.

**AN III. Short note about James' second name – I made it up. I'll explain it in later chapters.**

**I have to thank you all for your reviews – they rock my socks :P **

**Thanks to Just Subliminal – because she helped me I corrected most of my misspellings :) **

**Sorry for the cliffie – I'll try to update weekly, so you'll not have to suffer too long.**

**Hugs! **


	3. My first nightmare

**Title : _„My Beloved World of Darkness"_**

**Author : scorpionika**

**Rate : M**

**Warning : AU, slash, chan, smex, language, angst**

**Disclaimer : JK Rowling owns everything, I only mess up with her characters. **

**Summary : _After the end of war Harry Potter decides to change the modern history – from the very beginning. But he doesn't specify 'the beginning' and ends travelling to the day he was born. Now, stuck in the body of an infant, he begins preparation for the attack of the Dark Lord and works on saving people. _**

_**But, what to live for after the work is done?**_

Prologue – normal text

_Prologue – _thoughts and highlights in the normal text

..: oOoOo :..

"What's wrong with him?" asked James in the distressed voice, for the tenth time since he returned to the room, with first Healer he met in the hallway. The Healer, Mrs Collette, has been examining infant's little body with furrowed brows for the past 15 minutes, muttering spell after spell and waving her wand quickly. Although all of room occupants tried to stay silent, it was clearly visible that they were loosing patience. The air was thick with tension.

Harry was still laying on his belly, and despite being poked and patted and touched on his back in every other possible way by the Healer and hit with few dozens of spells, he was still sleeping. Healer Collette was observing the infant for any reaction, but there was none, except from slight changes in breathing, which in case of an older person would suggest that the child was dreaming. _But,_ the female Healer scoffed at herself inwardly, _newborns do not dream. As they do not sleep so deeply, _she reminded herself. _The just born baby's skin is highly delicate, and they senses are in overload..._she recited _The Healer's Guide_ in her mind. _They experience __multitude of things, from feeling air in their lungs, or moving limbs without restrain of womb to tasting mother's milk and existing without hearing another – mother's – heartbeat. Their sense of touch is also very sensitive, from spending their whole live in warm cavern of their mother's abdomen. A slight touch can calm – or cause the Niagara sized fall of tears. So, _the Healer questioned herself bemused, _why this child is so different? _

She continued examination of the young in-patient, ignoring few coughs and throat's clearing of the impatient parents, but had to surrender. As knowledgeable as she was, she had absolutely no idea what _the something _was.

She looked away from the infant, onto the floor, took a deep breath, exhaled it loudly and rose her gaze to the three faces, all of them set in expectant expression.

"I don't know what it is."

Lily gasped at the Healer's announcement and her heart suddenly speeded it's already too fast rhythm. James saw his wife's horror, written plainly on her so expressive face. He, at the Healer's revelation, started feeling very old and worn out, but nevertheless bravely took his beloved Lily's delicate hand and squeezed it gently, offering silent comfort. She turned her dazed eyes to him, and he thought that he had never seen her face so pained and so helpless. He closed the distance between them and started whispering in broken voice, directly to her ear, promises which even to him sounded hollow and empty.

"It will be okay, sweetheart..._He_ will be okay. We'll go through it together, no? We will." He stopped and just after a meek nod from his wife he continued, his voice getting stronger, though no louder. "It's just a small excrescence, nothing to worry about. He's young and strong, he will be okay. He _has _to be okay." James pulled back slightly and looked the red-headed beauty deep into eyes. They still were full of tears, but he also saw a glint of steel in them. _Good._ He wouldn't know what to do if his wife broke down completely – probably he would started crying too.

The Healer looked at the couple and smiled slightly at the man's action. _So young,_ she mused to herself with sadness, _and already experiencing the hardest thing in life – their offspring being in danger. _She took young woman's other hand in her bigger and more wrinkled palm and, when the red-head looked up, she offered her comforting, patient smile.

"I don't know what it is, but I can promise you we will know soon. Recently hospital acquired new apparatuses – Muggle X-ray, ultrasonograph, electrocardiogram...I'll bring someone who can use them and your son will be transported to have a check-up, okay dear?"

She waited for a nod, and then turned and excited the room in few quick steps, stopping only to mutter a hurried "Ennervate" in the direction of a black-headed, handsome male, Stunned on the floor, and when he came to senses she ushered him out of the room. He didn't protest, much – after all she promised him that she will expertly heal the nose, and he agreed with gratitude. He couldn't trust anyone – other than the professional - with his gorgeous face now, could he?

The door leading to the hallway closed after him with a bang – but no one of three adults noticed, deeply engrossed in staring at sleeping Harry James Potter. For a few moments complete silence enveloped the room, and it was comfortable and tense in the same time. But then, in few dozens seconds, all hell broke.

First, Harry's breathing accelerated.

He started panting harshly, his breath unnaturally loud to ears of the three adults.

Second, his legs started wild movements, as if trying to run while still laying on his belly on Lily's lap. One particular kick caused her to curl in pain and let out a disgruntled "Ouch!". James quickly pulled his son away from his wife and held him at the arms length from his own body, not wanting to be kicked by an surprisingly strong infant either. He was looking at the little boy with fear – _What is happening to him now_?

To Lily, it looked like a particularly strong epileptic attack but – _Wizards do not have epilepsy, do they?_

Next, the silence was shattered by a blood-freezing scream. The sound didn't resemble to all that were hearing him a shout of an infant – for food, milk all whatever every child needed – it was more like a battle cry, or an anguished howl of a wounded soldier. The adults' backs stiffened and for a couple of seconds they waited for the infant – to stop.

But he didn't.

Then – he started shaking uncontrollably, tears streaming down his little face, face scrunched up as in pain.

For a second time this evening James Potter left the room, fear gripping his heart tightly, searching for a member of hospital staff.

..: oOoOo :..

He felt terror, looking at the boys surrounding him. He was small – and he felt even smaller. They were all older – ten, maybe eleven year-old, all of them wearing malicious expressions on their dirty, angular faces. _The stray dogs_, as they were called in his orphanage.

When he was younger, young enough to believe in stories, the matron seemed to like him the most. She would come to his bed, one of many in the room, and sat on it. From there she would tell other boys stories, in which hidden were harsh truths about the world, about the war, about London. He heard her even when she whispered – because she sat closest to him. Sometimes she would even pet his hair, discreetly – for others not to be jealous of him.

There were many fairy tales – about hunchback living in cathedral, about princess charmed to be sleeping forever, about poisoned apple. They were also stories from the Bible – about Noah who built an ark, about Abraham and his almost sacrificed son Isaac, about Jesus and his miracles. But they were also modern tales – from the real life, from gossips and from urban legends. Stories about the war that consumed almost all of the world; about other races of people and animals, living far away, across the ocean; about _the_ _stray dogs_ that haunt on the streets of London.

They were real, after all. It was not a comforting thought.

_The stray dogs_ weren't really dogs – they were people – usually without a home or family – adults, teenagers and children –vicious, merciless and often sadistic. Harsh half-humans, half-animals, living on what they found , or who they robbed, or how much they body costs. "You don't wish to meet them" old matron would say, ending the description.

But Tom met them – and they didn't leave him, even though they saw he was probably as poor as them. Instead, they cornered him, his back pressed firmly to the grimy wall behind him, and tauntingly slowly started coming closer, malicious grins forming on their faces at seeing his fright, various weapons in their hands. They said mean things too.

"Ooh, poor baby is scaaaared!" taunted one.

"Don't wet himself, little wee boy!" shouted mockingly other.

Once they were all at the arms reach, they stopped, and a boy – the biggest, probably their leader – swung his club in order to hit Tom. The child closed his eyes, angry tears streaming down his cheeks, in mind only one thought.

_I don't want to die!_

He tensed, prepared to face the hit – which, aimed at his head, would probably be his death – but didn't feel anything. So, after few seconds, he opened one eye a little.

There were others – disbelief on their faces, eyes wide in fear.

There was the largest boy – lying on the back, looking at the sky with half-closed, glossy gaze.

_Dead, _Tom though for a moment of stillness, but then saw a little movement, the sign of breathing.

_Unconscious, then. Good riddance._

And Tom fled, pushing stunned boys from his way. They didn't protest.

_It was one of the last time that I felt dread, _Tom realized with satisfaction, slowly regaining consciousness.

But then his trail of thoughts was suddenly cut off by the terrible truth.

_My name is not Tom. I'm Harry. _

..: oOoOo :..

The infant's body stilled in Remus' arms, and both he and Lilian let out sighs of relief. Whatever it was, it was over – _for now._

The werewolf looked down at the small body cradled to his chest, and smiled tiredly when he saw fluttering of the small eyelids. And then gulped, eyes wide.

_Was that a glint of red in Harry's eyes?_

**Okay, boring chapter. I just have to explain few things, so in the next chapter we will have more of (conscious, not sleeping) Harry, and a little lapse in time, so Potters can finally go home :)**

**I'm not sorry for being late – I was on holidays where was supposed to be wireless. It was – on my last night. So – as one author says (Smaradgus) – no apologizes, no excuses.**

**Hugs**

**PS. Please, review. I know that my story sucks (the idea is brilliant, my writing – not) and I want to hear your opinions – what you hate, what I absolutely have to change, and what is passable. Because I honestly can't measure my writing – besides the fact that I often loose myself in descriptions, of that I'm aware (had to delete half of the chapter, because it was useless rambling about weather, political situation and clothes – joke) xD **


	4. My first blush

**I decided that you know the drill – so I won't write Disclaimer etc. every time. It annoys me greatly when I read stories on my mobile and have to skip it every chapter. So, if you want to see info about the fic – go to the first two chapters.**

**ATTENTION WHORE SAYS TO YOU ALL – REVIEW, PEOPLE! XD**

**An advert: If you like SB/HP stories – go read "No More Than a Means" by Queen of the Castle. It's veeeeery long two-shot (60k+) and it's seriously underestimated masterpiece :) It has only 16 reviews, while being an amazing story! Worth reading, go on!**

**One reviewer asked me why Harry in the last chapter has blue eyes. I thought it a common knowledge - some babies have 'baby blue' eyes after birth and then with time, their irises change to green or grey. No worries – I don't change canon that much!**

**All information about changing nappies I gained from having a now two-year old nephew and site Dummies [dot] com. Nothing is mine – not even nappies! * hysterical sobs ***

Prologue – normal text

_Prologue – _thoughts and highlights in the normal text

**Chapter's title : My first blush**

..: oOoOo :..

Few days passed, and Harry, along with his mother and father _finally_ went home (the last hiding under the Invisibility Cloak, having been banned, unless mortally injured, from the St. Mungo's due to "accidentally" waking up half of the just-born babies with shouting "Healer! My son needs a Healer!" - which resulted in some rather apocalyptic-looking deafening match of wailing newborns – which, by the way, resulted in two unlucky people having to undergo a treatment of rebuilding ear-drums – what a mess!).

No test, done by Muggle or magical means in the hospital, had showed Healers what was the flat, rather big (for such a small body, anyway) excrescence just under the skin on Harry's back For the time being, they called it "a little, non-dangerous skin tumour", and told Harry's parents to come to the hospital weekly in order to check if it didn't spread or turn malignant.

There was also a matter of Harry's eyes – one eye, the left one, particularly. The right one, from baby blue, turned into mesmerizing colour of fresh grass - very vivid, deep green. As for other – well.

It was red.

The iris had a colour of blood – dark burgundy shade of red. It looked not like something solid, more like a shimmering liquid. When it was dark, the eye looked almost like it was black, with weird twinkle in it. The strange thing was – it wasn't looking unnatural on Harry's face. Not at all – the colour only added intensity to the baby's gaze, which even with his previously blue irises seemed too intelligent for an infant. Many tests were done on both of the eyes, but the results only proofed that both of them were completely healthy, while one seemed to be from an albino.

"Weird" said Healers, "but nothing to be concerned about."

Harry, listening, in half-conscious state of mind (which is normal when one has been born just couple days before), always had a sarcastic thought after hearing this comment – _You don't know yet docs, but weird is Harry Potter's second name._

With great relief he and his parents received the information that they can go home.

Harry slept through the entire way from the hospital to Godric's Hollow which they made by Floo, and woke up in an unfamiliar room, in a wooden crib. All around him were toys and walls were painted pastel yellow, so he deducted that it was his new room, and he relaxed. Seeing small griffins prancing like kittens with ADHD and meowing quietly on a painting made him smile in amusement. He supposed the whole room showed how Lily and James Potter were expecting him, and it was somehow sweet, but the childlike painting was a bit much.

He studied the room closely, enjoying the unexpected solitude and quietness (except of the meowing, which he decided he'd Silencio as soon as he got hands on a wand). It was quite bright, and the colour of walls made it look bigger. He compared it to his old room in Dursley's house, and was smug it was almost the same size as the largest room there, Vernon and Petunia's bedroom. There were some bookshelves near one wall (filled with toys), a huge stuffed unicorn at legs of his crib, colourful carpet on the floor, one painting of griffins on the meadow at sunset, a window and doors, slightly open.

Harry listened into silence and, hearing nothing, decided it was safe to experiment on his new body. In the hospital he had no such opportunity – there were at all time at least two monitoring charms in the room he could sense, and he would rather pretend to be a drooling infant then be exposed so early. His ingenious plan was to act like a super-intelligent and fast-learning baby, but baby nonetheless – not an eighteen year old, trapped in a body of a baby. So far, it wasn't very hard. He was always sleepy when he was awake (which was only when he was eating), he couldn't stop crying when he was hungry, and he was still getting used to this new tiny body. So far, so good. But it was already a week, and Harry was now totally conscious and bored.

He flexed his chubby fingers experimentally. The motion was sluggish, but after few minutes only moving his palms it was getting faster. _Fine. Now, toes._

It was harder now, because, lying on his back, he didn't see them. They felt awkward and extremely short, but some time passed and he was getting better. Without thinking he tried moving fingers and toes together, but the result was awful – his fingers _knotted_.

_What the hell?_ Harry thought, looking at his left hand with disgust. The forefinger caught on the ring finger and the middle finger got stuck because of the pinkie. _Bollocks. _

Harry was surprised after few moments of staring at them when the realisation that '_It doesn't hurt' _hit him. Because he felt nothing. Morbidly fascinated, he smiled. _Weird,_ thought Harry, _but funny._ He lost his smile though when he tried to straighten them, with no luck. His face determined when he didn't success, he decided to help himself with his right hand. He stretched it above his chest in order to reach for his other hand but...it was too short.

Tired with his inability to release stuck fingers, he started to wail. In twenty seconds (he counted) Lily and James were above the crib. Lily picked Harry up and started patting on his back, unintentionally putting his left, knotted hand between their bodies and squeezing it there. And _that_ hurt.

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!" Harry screamed monotonously, only stopping for breath.

"Shush, Harry, shush" tried to calm him his mother. Needless to say, it wasn't working.

"Maybe he is hungry?" said James meekly to his wife's ear, feeling rather helpless. Lily looked at Harry's upset face and said loudly over his cries:

"I don't think so! He ate recently!" Then a thought hit her. "I know!"

Harry stopped crying instantly, hope in his heart. _Really? _His parents looked strangely at the change and he pretended to cry a bit, sniffing piteously. They looked at each other and James commented:

"Sometimes I swear he looks like he understands us." Bright smile lit up his face, and he started cooing. "That's my boy. So clever, so pretty..."

Harry held back a grimace. James had said something like this few times in hospital along with nurses, but adult people making fool of themselves weren't something Harry could get used to. It was too awful. He turned his face away and was thankful that his mother changed topic. Until her idea sunk in.

"Maybe he needs diaper changed!"

_Oh no._

When they were staying at St. Mungo's, responsible for this and other things like cleaning him or ensuring he was fed on time was one of the nurses. The elder woman knew handful of useful spells and never exposed Harry's private parts (saying "It's not proper" in cultured voice), changing nappies by covering his legs with fabric, banishing with a spell dirty nappy, doing quick Scouring Charm, putting a cream with a spell and, before he knew, he had new diaper on. It was fast, painless and merciful.

Now though...he had a bad feeling about it.

..: oOoOo :..

Lily was excited about the prospect, and more than a little nervous. She knew how to do it – in theory, at least. She had never change diaper before, but her maternal instinct was telling her that she had it in her blood. _I can do this_, she though, determined and optimistic. _I can._

"James honey, can you go for a nappy and a cream?" she asked with a smile and glanced from eyelashes at him. He caught her eyes, turned pink on face at her sultry look and nodded eagerly. _I have him wrapped around my finger, _she thought fondly, and watched as he skipped from the room. In all honesty, she couldn't remember where she put extra-large package of nappies. _Well, James will find them, _she thought resolutely, and turned her face to her son, forgetting about the problem.

"Now, my little angel, don't cry any more." When he looked up at her, her smile widen. "See, nothing to cry about. Mummy will just do a small hocus-pocus," she waved her hand excitedly, "and her baby will have a new, clean nappy! What do you say for that? Good?"

_No, no good, mum, _thought Harry snidely, but refrained from crying, because he realized it was pointless. Instead, he gave his knotted hand a little wave just before her eyes. Strangely, her smile widen even more when she saw what he did, and she shouted into the hallway:

"James, bring your camera along!"

From the ground floor sounded crash and a loud hiss of pain.

"Ouch!"

"James darlin', are you okay?" Lily asked with, Harry noted, more amused than worried expression. _My parents are weird,_ he decided.

"I'm okay, sunshine! Why do you need camera?"

_And all this sugary nicknames...definitely weird, _Harry commented inwardly, peeved but interested in getting to know _his parents_. He was still getting used to the idea that he was not an orphan. It was a strange feeling.

"Oh, Harry just did a very funny thing with his hand!" She added after the moment. "What takes you so much, anyway?"

"I don't know where the nappies are!...I though I put them in the kitchen, but they're not here!"

In Lily's head a bubble lit up.

"They're in the kitchen! Under the sink! I put them there because I tripped over them!"

Loud ripping sound (James opening the package most likely), moment of silence, then hurried footsteps on the stairs, and black-haired man came into the room with a nappy in one hand, tube of cream in other, and broad smile.

"I have it!"

"Yes, Jamesie, I can see... Where is the camera?" asked Lily, taking the diaper from her husband and smiling in thanks.

"Oh! I forgot. Just a sec!"

Lily put Harry on the thick, soft carpet, while James, from the sounds of it, was imitating tornado in the next room. Concentrated on the noises from the other room Harry didn't notice that Lily was unbuttoning his rompers until she was done. Warm breath tickled skin on his belly and, despite himself, he giggled.

His little laughter caused a sudden silence and James returned quickly with camera in hand, his face joyous. He knelt beside Lily and their both listened to the cutest sound either of them ever heard – their son's giggle.

James, seeing Harry quieten down, brought camera to his face and started making photographs of the infant's face. Lily pointed with a finger to Harry's hand.

"Take picture of this!" she exclaimed happily. James, looking where she pointed at, got worried.

"Doesn't it hurt, Harry?" he asked and, obviously not expecting an answer, after snapping a photo began gently unknotting it. Because of flexibility of child's fingers, he was quickly done, and he sighed with relief.

Harry relaxed, and smiled wide, toothless grin at James. His parents' reaction amused him to no ends.

"Lily, did you see? He smiled! He smiled at me!" his father said excitedly, and Harry felt something reminding him of life _before_ – when he was the Boy-Who-Lived, girls sometimes whispered things like that on Hogwarts' corridors when he glanced in their direction . A feeling that he was a star – brightest, the most important in the whole universe. Normally, he used to blush, embarrassed by the unwanted attention. This time tough, it didn't feel uncomfortable – it felt _warm, _and caring.

"I saw, James...Isn't that sweet?"

"It is, honey. Now, how do we do it?" James sounded too eager for Harry's liking, but he had no saying in the conversation.

"Didn't you read the book I gave you?" asked Lily, slightly annoyed. "The one with blue and pink cover and storks on it?"

"Baby...they were so many of them … I don't remember them all." Noticing his wife's disapproving gaze, he relented. "Of course, I'll reread them as soon as possible, I just didn't have enough time."

She smiled, content, and turned back to her son, explaining the process as much to James as to Harry – though, she didn't know it.

"First, we have to put blanket on the carpet so he doesn't dirty it. Then we make sure to have baby wipes, and barrier cream, and bin to put the dirty nappy in it. We have to take off the dirty nappy by gently lifting baby's ankles with one hand and pulling the nappy away from under his bottom. We dispose of the nappy into the bin or we make sure it's out of reach. We use a wipe or moist cotton wool to wash baby's bottom and around his willy. If any of this area appears red or irritated, we have to put some barrier cream on the irritated skin. Later we lift baby's ankles with one hand and use the other to put the clean nappy under his bottom. Baby should be lying on the clean nappy, so it's just a case of doing up the nappy's tabs. If your baby is a boy, tuck his penis down so when he pees, it goes into the nappy, not out the front. We wash hands thoroughly, ideally with an antibacterial soap. If we haven't already, we put the dirty nappy in the rubbish, and voilà!" She took a deep breath and exhaled loudly, grinning. "Easy, ain't it?"

"Wow, darling..." James sounded shocked and awed. "You – did you learn it by heart?"

Lily smiled proudly. "Of course!" she stated. Her husband gave her a gaze full of adoration, and she blushed a little. They didn't seem to notice their son's discomfort.

The infant was not so happy to be completely naked in front of his parents, who he had worshipped to the point of saints when he was _there_, as he started to call the other time he grew up in. They were dead back _there_, and perfect with only few flaws marring them – James' cruel pranks when he was teenager, Lily know-it-all attitude and few other things he heard from his professors and Sirius. Back _there_ though, they were just an idea, two graves, images charmed in an album of photos, mementos like Invisibility Cloak, anecdotes. Not real people. Never real people. And now, the two _not real_ people were going to change his nappy. He was not happy - not at all.

Lost in his inward fuming, he didn't hear what his parents were talking about further, only snapping from his thoughts when he felt gentle hands lifting him from the ground. From peripheral vision he saw James put small blanket with floating phoenixes on the floor and he was settled on it. The fabric felt nice on his skin, but he couldn't enjoy it properly, not comfortable with what was about to happen.

Lily petted him delicately, soothing his fear a little, though his embarrassment didn't lessen. He could feel warmness on his cheeks – and the though of how _blushing virgin_ he was lifted his mood a bit.

_They're just Lily and James, you twit, _he berated himself, _every child has to go through this. Not everyone is aware of it like you have the pleasure to, _he joked rather morosely, _but when luck was on you side, really? You'll survive._

Just as he was beginning to feel better his nappy was put off abruptly and he squeaked, again red as tomato. Lily clucked her tongue at James' grimace at the sight and reached for the baby wipes, taking few out.

After that, Harry gave up. He started peeing, his body easing the tension as best as it could with the little experience it had, and closed his eyes tightly, along with fists. Small sounds of distress escaped his mouth and he felt big hands covering his torso and patting his face. They felt good and Harry concentrated on them rather on what was happening lower. He didn't hear his parents chuckling because he urinated all over Lily, which they found funny as hell. He didn't feel his mother grabbing his feet and lifting him by them. Only big, slightly calloused, warm palms.

In no time Lily was finished – though she had to adjust the diaper few times due to her inexperience.

"Voilà! James, look at my work. Isn't it ideal?" she asked.

The man looked up from Harry scrunched up face, looked back, kissed his forehead, and turned to his wife's work. He scrutinized it closely, smiled and put index finger in the diaper. It went easily and he tried the middle too. The nappy allowed it. He shook his head, said distractedly "Too loose, Lil", opened the tabs and put them tighter. After that he tried again – this time the diaper fit only one finger.

"Now, it's okay."

He turned to the red-head, and smiled at her surprised face.

"You thought I don't know anything at all? I'm a father and I treat my new job seriously." he stated, joking but with a honest face. Lily, still emotional from the pregnancy, smiled at her husband with moist eyes.

"My hero" she said exaggeratedly, though few happy tears slid down her flushed cheeks. "My Superman" she chocked out, now fully crying, while still grinning. "My Super-Husband and Super-Daddy to our Super-Baby." She straddled him, her emerald green eyes not leaving his hazel, and put her arms around his neck. "My James." she finished and kissed him passionately, not minding that her blouse was wet with pee and she still had one dirty diaper in her hand. Apparently, James didn't mind too, instantly placing his palms on her waist and squeezing them.

Harry, laying not far from the couple, looked at them with love and pride in eyes. Yes, changing the nappies was hard, it was embarrassing and he peed on his mum, but he was a baby, and he decided to forgive himself and them for causing his discomfort. His parents loved him, they loved each other, and they were _his._ Not like Ron, who had Weasleys, or Hermione, who had Grangers, or Dumbledore, who had school to care about, or every other person in the world _before_. Now, he had something absolutely _his, _and he was elated.

With smile and to the sound of snogging Harry fell asleep on the small blanket with flying phoenixes, content with the world he was in.

**Author's Unnecessary Comments: Wow, it's so long O.o Seven pages, I'm just so proud! People, I wrote seven pages!**

**Sorry, have to share the news with you, though you're bad, bad people. I had ****572 Hits** **on the story and only few of you bothered by leaving me a review – all of them positive. Tell me what I need to improve, puh-leaase? * puppy eyes * **

**Not? Well - *glares at my HP-universe* Everybody repeats after me - ****ATTENTION WHORE SAYS TO YOU ALL – ****REVIEW, PEOPLE!**** XD**

**I have to say one thing though (I know, I ramble – don't like long ANs don't read them , right? :) - I start to like writing. I used to hate it, and felt pressured and very nervous about my artwork. Now – I know I'm not perfect and will never be. I'm disorganized, obsessed with reading more then writing and don't follow plan. But I like reading my previous chapters after some time passes (when I start to forget the process of creating them) and it makes my proud xD**

**Once again – had to share the news. Just don't listen to me if I'm boring :)**

**Enjoy the rest of the holidays guys!**

**And don't forget to point my mistakes ^_^**

**Hugs! **


	5. My first conversation

**AN. Well...how was yours start of the school year? Mine was bloody hectic, and still is. A month passed, and I'm sorry about it – I had no power to write and no time – and when I had time, I had migraine so...not very helpful. Then, I was bloody sick – as I am now. Bear with mistakes, and hopefully – enjoy it XD**

**Oh, one more thing – I rewrited Prologue and maybe in the near future I'll rewrite first two chapters. They're too short and too unoriginal. In new version of Prologue I changed only the beginning – in first part there is a description how the war progressed and how the hell Harry ended the war. Not very original, but hey! - it's my first story ^_^ it'll get better, I promise! **

**Disclaimer : Still not owner. *Sniff sniff* I wished I was their owner. Everyone wants Harry, so Harry 's not mine, but couldn't you give me Regulus? **

_'thoughts' –_ I realized that the Italic disappears on the mobile fanfiction version, so I added ' '

_highlights in text_

"speaking"

**Chapter 4. - **

..: oOoOo :..

Another week passed, and Harry more often than not found himself alone in his nursery, bored out of mind. He supposed babies sleep more than eight hours, but when he tried to nap every time his parents put him in the crib and said "Good dreams, Harry" he discovered he was cranky, moody and wanted to sleep even more.

He resolved to sleep no less than seven – because it was too little for his fast-growing body – and no more than ten for twenty-four hours. His parents were quite happy, obviously oblivious, because he slept during the day and they didn't know about the fact that nights he spend staring at the ceiling.

At night-time he lied, reciting "Quidditch Through The Ages", training moving his body and sometimes listening, embarrassed, to the sounds of Lily and James' passion. James and Harry both were surprised by Lily being almost always ready for sex – and her husband took full advantage of the fact. Harry guessed that Lily and James were on maternity/paternity leave, because all they did after leaving 's was looking after him, fucking like bunnies in the spring and occasionally reading some books or watching the telly. Yes, _telly_. Quite a shock, but after all Lily was a Muggleborn – and she was damn proud of her heritage, magic or not.

To the infant, it looked pretty domestic and homely. He instantly fell in love with their weird routine.

There were of course all sort of things Harry could do without. Unfortunately for him, his always oh-so-concerned-about-their-little-baby-boy parents have never closed door to their master bedroom – it was a big _no-no_, because such action would also mute their son's cries if something was wrong, and Lily didn't quite trust charms to watch over her little darlin'.

He couldn't decide if he was more glad at their obvious thoughtfulness or scream for them to bloody shut up and go already to sleep when they were banging like porn stars, panting, sometimes shouting, and then immediately hushing each other and giggling like madmen at their own silliness.

Once, at third night full of sex in row, his patience stretched too thin and he actually did just that. Not exactly, of course – he couldn't produce from his mouth any real words yet – but he had had screams down to a fine art.

His high-pitched cry sliced through the night and stopped groans of pleasure instantly. Harry was smug for a moment when he heard quick footsteps and a whined "Lilyyy" from his father, but his inward smirk at his own deviousness didn't last long, immediately replaced by the not-so-inward blush when Lily came into the room, _totally naked_, covered in sweat from previous activity.

He supposed babies don't care about their parents' state of undress either, and thanked god for the darkness which surrounded both of them and hid - his dark-red face and his mother's body – but it was _so wrong_ he just had to look away from the approaching figure.

He felt like a complete bastard when Lily took him in her arms and started cooing calmly. His father after few moments entered the room too, clad only in towel, though Harry didn't see it. The baby didn't bother to glance at his face, utterly miserable that he destroyed his parents lovemaking, and felt even worse when obviously concerned James asked:

"Lils? What's wrong?"

"I don't know, dear...he stopped crying when I came in." Lily's voice sounded confused, and she spoke again after short silence.

"It's unnatural for babies not to cry at night-time, you know...supposedly we shouldn't sleep at all during first years of Harry's live." her tone was light and teasing now, with just a hint of worry, and she cradled Harry's tiny body into her bare, warm abdomen. Harry sighed, thankful for the comfort of his mother's flesh, but still feeling like a stupid jerk.

"Well, it looks like he fell asleep..." James said, leaning toward the infant and squinting his eyes against the darkness and his myopia. Harry closed his eyes and deepened his breath, and his father straightened with a smile. "Now, my dear wife..." he purred with a seductive smile, his hand grabbing and squeezing Lily's butt cheek strongly "what should we do with this fine started evening?"

"James!" Lillian whispered in mock-indignation, frowning playfully "Are you suggesting what I think you're suggesting?"

"Mhhhm..." he pretended to think for a second "Well, if it involves you, me, our bed and a lot whipped cream...then yes, I do think so..."

The red-headed female nuzzled Harry's face, pecked him on his forehead, put him in the crib and covered him with a small blanket. Then, without turning around, she took few steps back and walked straight into her husband, who meanwhile dropped the towel. The male embraced her from behind and she started moving, rocking her tushy into his erection and eliciting moans from her beloved.

"I think it's time for bed, Jamesie..." she sing-sang and then added "Would you like a bedtime story?" she asked innocently, peering from under eyelashes at him. He grinned in response.

"Of course, darlin'..." and he lifted her unexpectedly, which caused squeal of surprise and quiet pearls of laughter. "But I do think we'll be loud. Maybe a Monitoring Charm on Harry and closed door – just for tonight?"

Lily thought about it for a moment, and unusually decided to trust magic to alert her if she was needed. She smiled at hopeful James – who liked doing _it_ loud – and nodded.

"Sure, sweetie...but just for tonight" she warned.

They kissed soundly and then the young man went out of nursery with the beautiful woman in his arms, leaving Harry deeply lost in thought.

..: oOoOo :..

The teenager slash infant was musing, not having anything better to do.

Harry didn't have much time _back there_ to explore the meaning of sex. He knew that sexual intercourse was for pleasure and that it was "bloody brilliant" - quoting after Ron, who knew that from his older brothers and his own experience – although knowing Ron, he could be exaggerating. Harry knew that usually you do it with someone you love, although the Wizarding World wasn't devoid of whores and nymphomaniacs. He knew also, before starting the sexual activity, teenagers often masturbate to the thought of it – that knowledge came from living six years in dormitory with four hormone-driven boys.

His experience though, in that part of life, was equal to null.

There was a standing joke in the Gryffindor Tower _back there _and some rumours, that Harry was asexual. Meaning – sex held no interest to him. He was quite happy without subscribing "The Wizard's Fantasy" and wanking at the sights in it, as most boys did, and his testosterone didn't cause him to want to jump a Veela on the Quidditch World Cup - nor he became a dreamy-eyed, drooling idiot near Fleur Delacour.

In his eighteen years existence he have never dated or kissed a girl, besides a platonic peck on Hermione's cheek, of course. He rarely wanked – and even then, he didn't fantasize of the crowd of horny women – he did it just because his body required it from him. In his mind, it wasn't an action to bring pleasure – it was something natural and primal, like pissing. Naturally, it was pleasurable, but when he didn't feel the need to do it, he didn't think about it.

In his mind sex was a messy, energy-draining activity. And he didn't need it – not at all.

Harry had to admit it to himself, that it was nevertheless interesting to listen to two people having an intercourse – embarrassing, but definitely interesting. Heart-warming was the fact that his parents always ended it with an "I love you" and "I love you too", and he guessed pet names they named each other were prolongation of this moment. After getting used to their weird way of addressing each other, he found it totally cute.

His parents were the pair of really nice, sometimes weird, mostly happy young people. They seemed not to mind his strange red-coloured eye and the fact that they had to clean his ass few times a day. To think they were twenty years older was hard for Harry to accept – he felt like they were rather his peers. He decided that, at some point in his life, he will tell them the truth about himself and his life _back there,_ but for now – for now he was quite complacent being just a baby – their little baby.

..: oOoOo :..

Doorbell in the home rang shrilly.

The peaceful and relaxed atmosphere at Godric's Hollow 19 was disrupted by one of the last thing the youngest Potter expected.

Family visit.

At first after being brought from the hospital Harry pondered why they never had visitors – _'where are the Marauders, where is the Order, where are Lily's friends?' _Later, he realized _'there is a goddamn war I had forgot about'_ – Marauders were possibly suspecting each other of being traitor to the Dark Side, and the Order of the Phoenix was kept busy by the attacks. This thought brought to his attention another problem – he didn't know if the prophecy concerning himself and Tom Riddle was made yet, or if Godric's Hollow 19 was under the Fidelius Charm,... or even if his parents defied the Dark Lord three times as was – will be? - a condition to choose Voldemnort's equal. He knew that Dumbledore had heard the prophecy from Sybil Trelawney sometime near the start of the school year, on the interview for her job, but hell... he didn't know _in which year she started teaching there!_

A sight. '_So many questions, so little answers...' _It frustrated the hell out of Harry that he didn't know something and had no means to get to know. He couldn't just walk up to his mother and say - "Hi mummy, do you know if the Trelawney bitch...I mean _witch_...is pretending to be a great Seer at Hogwarts now? Because I have an important business to do with her and, by the way, hey, could you drop me to the Headmaster? I need to talk with the old lemon drop's eater...Oh yea, I can talk, but it's a conversation for another time. Ta!"- now, could he?

His inner rant was stopped by the abrupt appearance of his mother, with dishevelled hair, swollen lips and wrongly buttoned up shirt. '_Snogging much, aren't you, mummy?' _asked Harry inwardly, as he was used to do – an ability to converse with himself when he couldn't articulate or wasn't allow to voice his thoughts, skill learned from an early age of countless lonely days in the cupboard at Privet Drive 4. _'Without hearing my voice in head I'd probably end up mad'_ conceded Harry and let the matter drop – he wasn't Freud.

Lily stood, facing his crib and calming her irregular breathing.

The second doorbell rang, followed by loud pounding into front door.

The voice that shouted from outside of the house was louder than the doorbell, James swearing from downstairs which could be heard a moment earlier and possibly even a cannonade.

"Lilian Eleanor Potter, are you here?"

The definitely feminine, although rather strong shout caused Harry to grimace- '_Who are the bloody hell this people?" _

"Oh my god, oh my god,ohmygodohmygod...why now?... what a crap!" Lily muttered irritably and, Harry noted, rather nervously._ 'Is it an attack? No, not now! How can I protect them from Death Eaters? What the hell I already changed so much this time? I've done nothing wrong! What is going on?' _Harry, not quite able to quell his panic, started crying piteously.

Lily looked at the boy in his arms, stopping herself in mid-rant about unfairness of life, and immediately started hushing Harry gently. When she effectively calmed him down, she noticed lack of noises from the house and outside of it and her nervousness returned in full-force.

_'What to do now? Mrs. Potter, you're a responsible witch and a wonderful mother – think, think, THINK!'_

Self-motivating little inward speech allowed her to appraise the situation logically. She turned her gaze to Harry and knew instantly that she has to glamour the baby's eye – the one with unnatural colour. She quickly pointed her wand at it and muttered a spell. Nothing. She tried another, more forceful – but it didn't success either. Which left her with only one possible way to go. To cover it. Imagining a pirate's patch for an eye she muttered an incantation and it appeared – slightly loose, but fine nonetheless. _'Now, a cover-up history for this? Well...' _

..: oOoOo :..

James opened the front door, knowing what to expect due to recognizing the voice shouting from outside. And he had expected – the worst.

The sight was even worse that he imagined, however. At his front porch were all of his mortal enemies, devil incarnations and all bad things that may happen – aside from Voldemort, Malfoys and maybe Blacks.

His mother-in-law, father-in-law, sister-in-law and her husband – the rest of Evans and Dursleys family bar the youngest member. He groaned quietly – and thought '_It was starting to be a really great day today...' _with regret reminding himself of his previous activities and trying to stop his dick from hardening – unusually, it was easy. _'Now it's more like -all hope abandon ye who enter here' _he added sarcastically, and gathered his Gryffindor courage he so much needed now.

"Hello, Ma'am, Sir, Petunia...Vernon" he said, barely able to keep his voice civil and prevent himself from sneering. _'Calm down, they're Lils folks...calm down, Jamie...'_

"Nice to see you too, young man...Where is Lily?" the matriarch went, as always, straight to the point.

"Mum, I'm in the kitchen!" yelled Lily from the inside of the house. James almost – almost – sighed with relief. _'At least she'll help me through...And maybe after we'll have long and hot session, due to the stress...An idea worth perusing' _he smiled to himself confidentially, opening wider the door. "Welcome to our home." he said as a way of greeting. Almost all of the guests ignored him, letting themselves into Godric's Hollow 19, aside from Lily's father, David, who smiled at him before going in direction of the voice. He, from James' point of view, was the least evil one of the bunch. James smiled back.

The oldest Potter man closed the door after the last guest, a fat, rude man named Vernon Dursley, who stayed slightly behind the group. They had the _pleasure_ to meet twice – and the two of them instantly disliked each other.

"Hello, Jameson." said Vernon, not hiding contempt in his voice and purposely making a mistake.

"Hello, Vermin" greeted James, dropping polite and by now strained smile. He smirked instead.

Vernon made a noise similar to growl and snarled "My name is Vernon, you freak."

"Same thing" answered wizard coolly, and ended their little exchange by heading out to the living room, from where were heard voices. Vernon followed him, seething, face red from anger.

They forced smiles onto their faces for the sake of their respective wives when they entered the sitting-room, but their women didn't notice. All Evans family was staring at the infant who appeared to be blushing and fidgeting – however weird it was, because '_babies are too simple to feel uncomfortable'_ thought James, not even surprised by the eye-patch. _'Clever girl' _he congratulated his beloved inwardly.Bynow he was used to Harry's unusual responses and overall weirdness.

Evidently, Harry's grandmother was not.

"Why is he so red? Is he sick? I still don't understand how only one eye can be sun-sensitive, is it even possible? Is it..." she dropped her shrill voice to theatrical whisper and her eyes widened. "Is it because of magic? Did someone _curse_ our little baby?"

_'She is fascinated at the thought' realized_ with distaste James._ 'She still thinks magic is all about funny tricks...' _Mind-sigh. '_Muggles' _Theoretically, he had nothing against non-magical society and people – but Lily's family was an exception. A huge exception to exterminate, preferably.

_'Well...I'll just have to endure.' _groaned inwardly James.

..: oOoOo :..

Harry's eyesight wasn't perfect, although he wasn't blind either. He wished he was. It would make things so much easier...

For example, he would have no trouble ignoring the four staring people, two of them total strangers – his grandmum and granddad, one – his mum, and the last – his hated aunt. The oldest man's eyes were the same shade as his own and Lily's, he was nearly bald and he had a strange thingie similar to pope's cap on his head, but it was black instead of white. He looked at the hat-thing curiously for a long time, guessing it's purpose but not coming up with anything sensible, when his grandfather , noticing his gaze, took it off with a smile and presented to Harry. Little man, not quite knowing how to show his gratitude, cooed shyly.

"This, my dear Harry, is a yarmulke. It is a traditional skullcap, worn by religious and faithful followers of Adonai, such as me." The gentle, although full of callouses fingers caressed infant's cheek lightly, and Harry couldn't help but smile at the man. Seeing the small, toothless grin made the man chuckle, and he explained some more. "Adonai, Harry, means 'master', but he is not only a master as such. Our god" his eyes glanced at the ceiling as if consulting the higher being "is also a father to us all - Avinu in Hebrew. He has many names and many more titles but however you name him, he is always with you and cares about you."

The man's eyes, Harry noted, were sparkling with emotions, as if this god was a friend he wanted for Harry to get to know. He himself only ever believed in the Lion King – the almighty, magnificent and caring character from the movie for little children – and, later, in magic, but could see the faith in his granddad's eyes and decided to at least try this religion, which followers wear yarmulkes – although he didn't know which religion David was talking about.

Harry gave back the thing, and was suddenly reminded that they weren't alone – and, that he was supposed to be a stupid little human, not a adult man he felt like few moments ago, when his grandfather was talking to him. He worriedly glanced around, and saw that the audience was even bigger than before. To the group joined James and – _'yuck! Is it Vernon Dursley?'_ Everyone had strangely shocked look at their faces and Harry couldn't help but giggle, especially at his gaping whale-of-the uncle.

"Is he _laughing_?" asked his grandmother in the strange voice. The tender caress of his garnddad's fingers was back and and Harry smiled at him.

"I believe he is, Becca. I believe he is."

"But, _how?_ He's only few _weeks_ old, for god's sake, he shouldn't know how to laugh, should he?" she questioned doubtfully, but her husband shook his head.

"I don't know, but...everything is possible in the world of magic" David looked at the faces of his son's-in-law face "is it not?"

James just nodded dumbly, not quite knowing what to say.

..: oOoOo :..

The rest of the visit went more smoothly, probably because Harry pretended to sleep, and after dinner the guests departed with a "Kol tuv" and, whispered by his grandfather to his ear "Chalomot paz". Harry had mixed feelings about his family. David, his granddad was a peaceful, smiling man and he couldn't wait to grow up, to have a proper conversation with him. Then, there was David's wife and his grandmother Rebecca – rather obese (which made Harry instantly wary of her, because he was a bit prejudiced, after having to survive in Dursley's house with two fat pigs for more than a decade – which, in his opinion, was a decade too long), noisy and nosy woman in her late fifties, dressed elegantly if not in a little garish colours. There was also, of course, Dursley's branch of Evans family. Petunia, while not so thin as she had been after diet prescribed to Dudley (on which had been all the family before Harry's fourth year in Hogwarts _back there_), was still bony and a complete opposite to her large, not-so-moustached-as-his-older-version-_back-there_ husband. Their personalities didn't change much either: she was jealous about her sister as Harry had thought she always was, and Vernon was a gruffy, mean bastard, who had some manners but coincidentally forgot them whenever he hissed insults to James. Their rivalry seemed even more fierce than usual Gryffindor/Slytherin quarrels, which in itself was quite a feat. It was rather funny to watch Vernon being outsmarted by James and Harry was proud to have James for father.

After some time Harry's grandmother stopped questioning Potters about Harry's weird actions and eye-patch and both Lily and James didn't confide her further, about the tumour on his back or the fact that he have never bothered their sleep.

Overall, the family visit wasn't so bad, and in an hour after their exit everything was back to the established familiar routine – Lily was trying to read a book, James was distracting her by kissing as many erogenous zones on her body as he could reach without changing their position on the couch and from time to time making lewd comments to her ear, and Harry was chilling out in his room. The Godric's Hollow 19 was silent and peaceful

At least, until second time that day doorbell rang shrilly, making the trio jump.

Lilian and James looked at each other with consternation, not liking the fact that neither of them had a clue who to expect on the other side of the entrance door.

"Welll.." sighed James, unwillingly pushing himself up from the comfortable cushions "I'll see who it is."

..: oOoOo :..

_Kol tuv – Be well (in Hebrew)_

_Chalomot paz – Golden dreams (in Hebrew)_

**AN: I'm not Jew, and any knowledge about their culture I possess comes from internet and movies. Religion won't be very important in this fic, although it will be part of Harry's life.**

**Don't fear, Harry won't be asexual for very long – he'll find his match and find pleasures of body and soul he haven't imagined. It won't be coincidental that he discovers it now and not _back there_, because everything has it's purpose – but about it I'll write in next two chapters.**

**The next episode : reunion of Marauders, more dreams, some character clashes and maybe even Regulus on a scene :)**

**The grandparents will come maybe once or twice again, but their visits will be only a prelude – they will change Harry quite literally, as you will see xD**

**Now probably not many things make sense, but life is full of mysteries and answers to them are not always obvious, are they? I promise to clear everything up in next three chapters :-)**

**And also I swear not to make so long breaks between updates. Witch's word :-P **

**hugs!**


	6. My first dream

**Sorry for mixing things up, but I only realized that I left you with cliffhanger for two freaking chapters! It's unacceptable! So I started completing this chapter, in next (after the one starring Regulus himself) 8th chappie you'll see the rest of the 'another family' visit.**

**Long and unneeded AN : Rating back to M, 'cuz of smutty smutty smexy talk XD Are you excited? I am – I'm popping my slash-fanfiction-writer cherry here :-)**

**Ah, and one last thingie – I adore when readers leave me a comment, question, even smiley face (or sad, frowning etc.) or a recommendation of nice story they think I'd enjoy. The reason I love fanfiction so much is that I can interact with author, get to know them and support them, and also can get to know what kind of people you are, my Dear Readers ^_^ **

**Me thanks very much my wonderful reviewers - especially brightsun89, Smithback, tetee77515, kittyeh18, 'I love cute things' (great nickname :) and itachisgurl93 – YOU ROCK MY SOCKS :-D**

**Rate : M (!)**

**Warnings : AU, slash, (!) smex (!), language, angst, rape (sorta, with use of a curse), chan (adult and fifteen year-old) **

**If you didn't notice in warnings – this is NTSW (Not Safe For Work). Or school. Or family dinner, wherever you'll read this xP**

**Enjoy!**

Prologue – normal text

_'Prologue' – _thoughts 

**..: oOoOo :..**

First thing he realized after groggily waking up was that he was naked under the thin blanket – and that beside him rested another body, emitting comforting heat and very familiar scent of sweating, masculine body.

_'Mhhm...delicious'_' he licked his lips sleepily.

Tom shifted slightly, scooting closer to the other boy and – '_Oh, he isn't such a boy, after all' _his perverted mind purred, and he smirked lazily. Closing the small distance between their bodies, he pressed himself against his muscular, well-endowed bed-partner and sighed contently. The warmness from the skin-to-skin contact spread on all of his lean, teenage body, and it felt remarkable. He closed his eyes, savouring the moment, and decided that for _'just a minute'_ he'll let himself enjoy the closeness and postpone a bit an inevitable routine of get-up-and-Oblivate. _'After all, I can't have Wizards going and claiming they bedded the future Dark Lord, can I?'_

But, against himself, Tom instantly fell asleep, exhausted from previous night's activities.

When he woke up a second time, it was to the sounds of muttering and bed-shifting, and he realized that his one-night stand already got up and was getting dressed, sitting with his back to the dark-haired laying man, apparently only a t-shirt and shoes away from leaving the room,

_'Not a chance in Hell, man.' _ he thought angrily.

"Hello, gorgeous" he murmured calmly despite being annoyed, and trailed a finger down the other male's bare spine, making him shiver. The handsome blond turned around and grinned down at Tom.

"Hello there, Sleeping Beauty" he said in a cheery, but seductive voice. Tom felt his cock swell at the sight of so much yummy musculature and glistening flesh, and he crooked a finger, indicating the other man to come back to bed. The stranger shook his head with a mock-afraid expression.

"Merlin, no way! I'm not having another round with you, you...you...you sex-machine!" he triumphantly settled for the right word, and Tom lifted an eyebrow, as if asking "Oh, really?"

"You completely worn me out yesterday, pretty, I've got no cum to cum" answered the unasked question the stranger, teasing smile on his full lips.

Tom's annoyance reached alarming level at man's refusal – he positively _hated_ being rejected - but his face didn't betray a thing. Instead, he narrowed his eyes with a playful smirk and tugged the other one forcefully on the bed. The man complied, crawling sexily over teenager's laying form and hovering above him. Tom grabbed the male's short hair rather roughly and pulled his head down, so they were nose to nose, the blond grimacing slightly at the harsh treatment.

"It's my place to assess your ability or inability to cum, so stop talking and do something more productive with your mouth" said Tom seductively, and then added in a serious tone "and don't call me pretty."

The slightly older wizard didn't submit. Instead he pinned Tom's hands to the bed and grabbed a fistful of black hair, exposing a long, vulnerable neck with a bobbing Adam's apple. He eyed hungrily youth's upper-body and licked lips in delight, finally meeting teenager's dark gaze.

"Such a big words from such a small man." He smirked. "I think you had your fun yesterday, now it's your turn to use this pretty lips" said man, with a stress on pretty, releasing his hair.

Tom was by now royally pissed off. _'The audacity of the man! He thinks I – Lord Voldemort – will give him head? In your dreams.' _ His face however was void of any hint of disagreement, and the blond allowed himself to be laid down when Tom whispered "You'll be more comfortable like this." The teenager that proceed to slither down, brushing his erection across the other one's body and leaving a trail of pre-come.

"You are so hungry my cock, aren't you, you little slut?" murmured the man, mistaking Tom's arousal for anticipation to please him. "So eager to get a taste." He propped himself on his elbows in order to see younger male, and then petted dark hair, making Tom grit his teeth. "Do it." the blond man commanded in a hoarse, breathless with anticipation voice.

The teenager seemingly obliged, lowering his head, but was already working on Summoning his wand non-verbally. However, feeling very little magic left in his tired body he started licking the muscular thighs, and between kisses breathed "_Accio_ wand", which wasn't heard above the stranger's moans of pleasure. The quiet sound of flying piece of wood went unnoticed too, and Tom caught his most prized possession, revelling in surge of power that flowed through his body like an electrical current. He sighed at the pleasant sensation and allowed a small smile to creep on his face. _'Now, fun time!'_ his mind supplied, almost giddily.

"Imperio!" Tom hissed, registering with sadistic glee a look of horror before the blond's expression went blank. Tom, in order to be completely sure that he performed the spell correctly, thought of something ridiculous for the stranger to do, and then realized that he still doesn't know his name. He smiled, and gave the mental command _'Stand up. Bow to my greatness. Tell me how much you want me. And present yourself to me like the greatest whore, Slave.'_ The muscular male rose from the bed and stood near it as Tom made himself comfortable, quelling any remorse he felt with practised ease he had nearly down to a fine art. _'You're not doing anything wrong, he'll enjoy it.' _his mind supplied, and he relaxed as he watched the stranger introduce himself.

"My name is Jason, 'm 23 years old." He bowed deeply, but straightened and Tom felt a twinge at that. _'Standing above me won't do at all. Kneel. And keep your head down, Jason...Show me how you enjoy being under my command.'_ When the blond knelt on both of his knees, however, the black-haired man was reminded of the painful position he had to endure in the orphanage, after he stopped being nurses' Precious Boy and became a Walking Trouble – and the punishment was to kneel, with straight back and sometimes hands above head, on the hard floor and peas, which made the position unbearable. '_No, it wouldn't do at all' _mused Tom, forcing the dark memories into some small corner of his mind and forgetting about them.

'_Kneel on one knee, like a knight before the king.' _The blonde looked up slightly as if for confirmation and, after getting a nod, knelt before him.

For the future Dark Lord, life couldn't get any better at the moment. He was young, he had a nice bit of flesh and muscle submitting to him, he just figured out how his future servants will act when meeting him. It was perfect. Completely and utterly..._perfect. _He wanted the moment to last forever, this warm feeling of satisfaction bubbling underneath his skin...

But then, his greed reminded him, he could never settle for ruling over just a one person, could he? He already tasted sweet curse-induced submission, and his imagination was running high : two people kneeling, willingly, before him, heads bowed, wands no where in sight, trusting him not to kill them... ten people, twenty...fifty people in black robes, and white masks, each looking like Death personified … fifty man that would face the Death for him and conquer it with his name on their lips, or die, with the last breathe given not their loved ones, but for his Lord's name, _Voldemort_ … a hundred man, trained army of dark forces, ruthless, heartless and efficient...a thousands fearing him, him, Tom Riddle the orphan no longer, but _Lord _Voldemort...

The flow of ecstatic thoughts was abruptly cut off by a breathless moan, and Tom, startled, turned quickly his wand in direction of the sound, but what he pointed at make him dizzy with want. There was his one-night stand, handsome blondie named Jason, huge mass of musculature and a tease, kneeling on two knees, head thrown backwards, back arched beautifully and a look of bliss on his face as he masturbated. Tom couldn't look away from his engorged dick once he caught sight of it. Shiny with pre-come and nearly purple, thick rod with many exposed veins, being pumped by a big, rough hands, hips bucking and riding out the pleasure...Tom unconsciously dropped his wand, settled himself on an elbow and reached for his own equipment, now half-hard. He wanted to fuck the man, but that could wait, after all there wasn't any hurry – they could play a little bit.

'C_ome here, I've got a question' _ordered Tom softly in his mind. Jason scrambled gracelessly to comply and straddled the teenager's thighs, their erections brushing together and making them both groan in delight. The black-haired man had to forcibly stop himself from bucking hips to create friction between their manhoods, and then think what he had wanted to ask. When he remembered, he questioned in a husky voice:

"What made you so aroused, Jason? Was it the look of my face? Or maybe my body? What made you want to touch yourself?"

On the mention of touching the man moaned pitifully, his blank, Imperioused mind filled to the brim with thoughts of pleasure and the men next to him, but he didn't want to displease his temporary (though, he didn't thought about it) master, thus he answered in a wanton voice:

"You...your thoughts. You were wondering about something arousing, and it made me _soooo_ hot" he indicated the point by squeezing his purple need, which made Tom chuckle breathlessly "I felt your pleasure in my soul, and it made me harder than ever" another squeeze, and this time the teenager beneath him groaned at the erotic display.

The knowledge that Imperio-ed person can feel emotions of the person who cursed them was innovative, but for now Tom decided to abandon his eagerness to learn for his carnal desires. _'Later, I'll experiment and test the theory. But, there is no hurry – I have my whole life_' he thought before submitting to his rising longing to feel the heat surrounding his by now aching member and commanding the blond '_Suck me off.' _As his dick was enclosed into the warm and wet cavern of the other's man mouth and licked, all rational thoughts fled from his lustful mind and for the next few hours he could think only of one thing.

'_More.' _

**..: oOoOo :..**

Harry suddenly woke up with a quiet gasp, and then promptly blushed when he recalled his passionate and positively _sinful_ dream.

That was just..._wow_.

He never, _ever_ dreamt about intercourse with another male – hell, he's never had a dream like that, even with a female! The only few times he had morning wood was when he had no nightmares – which, _back there_, was a rare occurrence – and all he remembered after waking up was feeling of pure _want_ – and he was sure he'd never dreamt of another person or act of sex itself. It bothered him more than a little that he had to start having normal teenage dreams now – after all, here he was only a baby! Thanks to that, no wood, but he felt completely wrong, thinking of things like erection in the body of sweet and innocent newborn.

_'Maybe it's because of the fact that Lily and James shag in every waking hour?'_ he mused a little sullenly, still embarrassed by the dream.

Abruptly, however, the embarrassment wasn't the main emotion in his poor, confused mind.

It was pure and paralysing _fear_.

In one moment, he remembered all the small details he previously, in the sleepy state of mind dismissed as unimportant – the Imperious, the thoughts about future greatness as the Dark Lord, the plan to Oblivate the blond, regrets, chucked into the hidden caverns of subconsciousness, the overall feeling of darkness, and the name, simple, plebeian, unoriginal … _Tom._

Harry sat up, now fully awake, and replayed the whole scene beneath his closed eyelids, the images now imprinted on his retinas – waking up totally _sated, _with the disjointed memories of the night before, spent with the same man as the morning: the knowledge on the back of his mind of day, month and year – the fourteenth of July _1942, _the fact that his name is Tom and that he's fifteen, soon will be starting his sixth year at Hogwarts and will shortly become rightful Heir of the Ancient House of Slytherin; the cognizance that he's at the Leaky Cauldron, having stolen some money from the shop nearby (otherwise he couldn't afford the room there) and that he can do magic in the close vicinity of the Alley (he tried with basic spells and got no reprimand, so he wasn't afraid to use Imperio). It was really a whole world too much of what Harry wanted to know about Lord Voldemort _ever_.

And, he was sure as hell now, it definitely wasn't a mere dream.

Some of his other dreams he had had in his new life, Harry mused, carried into his awareness the same feeling of _knowledge_ associated with _darkness_. The simple scenes: of playing children and him disturbing them – of escaping the group of older boys on the dreary streets of London – of an old tired lady and of the _war_ - he was fairly certain they weren't his memories, even the images from watching TV, which he might had suspected they were, hidden somewhere in his subconsciousness, if not for the details. The memories were too accurate, too _personal_ – the feeling of rough clothes on his skin, of cold in the dead of night, of deep rooted injustice and primal desire for vengeance...this emotions were too _real_ to be only dreams.

And the realization scared the shit out of Harry.

_'What if it was true? What if the memories were Voldemort's? Would it mean I am _him_? Or that he is me? Or, maybe a part of him from _back there_ glued itself to my soul because I didn't destroy all of the Horcruxes before going to off him – and it travelled with me to the time _now_? Is it even possible?_

_Fuck...but when something being _impossible_ stopped Tom Riddle from doing it?' _

**..: oOoOo :..**

It was dark outside, and at Godric's Hollow 19 the familiar routine was back after rather tiring family visit. Lily was trying to read a book, James was distracting her by kissing as many erogenous zones on her body as he could reach without changing their position on the couch and Harry was chilling out in his room. The atmosphere at their home was peaceful and full of contentment.

At least, until second time that day doorbell rang shrilly, making the trio jump.

Lillian and James looked at each other with consternation, not liking the fact that neither of them had a clue who to expect on the other side of the entrance door.

"Welll.." sighed James, unwillingly pushing himself up from comfortable cushions "I'll see who it is."

A sight that greeted him after opening the door was both funny and equally stirred some buried anger in him. Before entrance to house stood Remus, Peter and Sirius, the last looking as if he had been dragged there forcefully. Beside them was a bag of – something, and James instantly felt curiosity. _'Did it just _moved_?' _He noticed uneasily, although it could only be a play of light. He desperately wanted to discover it's contents.

"Hi Jamie" greeted Remus with a wide smile. James grinned back. As annoying his friends sometimes were, he did miss them terribly in few days since last meeting in the 's.

He glanced at the rest of their small pack and saw that Peter was unnaturally pale and had dark circles under his hollowed eyes. He did not look healthy, and seemed to be able to fall any minute asleep, on any available surface – horizontal _or _vertical. On the other hand Sirius looked as if he couldn't stand still, and was in constant motion – fidgeting slightly, scratching head, messing his hair up, stepping from foot to foot. '_Looks as if you haven't pranked anyone recently, huh, Paddy?'_ thought James, lifting his eyes to look fully at the black-haired man and directing at him impish grin. The other man returned it, though with a slight hesitation.

"Hi guys" he returned his gaze to Remus, and noticed that he too looked as if he hadn't slept much lately _'What's with them all?'_. "Come in." He let them through the door, and they stepped in, Remus leading and Sirius at the end.

James lead them to the living room and reclined himself on the couch next to frowning Lily. He hoped she wouldn't fuss about how it was inappropriate time for visit – he wanted to reconcile with his best mate, without arguing with his wife if possible. But he couldn't be sure – Lily was prone to holding grunges, and moreover it _was_ already 10 pm. He crossed fingers behind his back and with the other arm soothingly encircled his wife's shoulders.

"Couldn't you wait until tomorrow with your visit? It's a bit late." commented Lily disapprovingly. Remus just smiled at her and sat in the armchair, not looking uncomfortable at all as if not noticing the mounting tension. He then unceremoniously kicked Sirius in the shin, making the handsome man hiss "What?" with a grimace. After a pointed look from the werewolf he straightened up and smiled falsely at the pair on the couch. James frowned too. _'Something _is_ wrong'. _

In his peripheral vision he saw Peter sitting down on the Accio-ed from kitchen chair. Siri stood now alone in the middle of living room.

Inside Sirius' mind battle was ranging. He wasn't good at apologising – not at all. That was not what he was taught in his Pure-blood tradition and custom lessons – this was what he had been warned against for all his life. Handing enemy – and everyone was an enemy in Pure-blood set of mind – such a great weapon as humble posture and asking for forgiveness was a blasphemy to all of House of Blacks' rules. He was sweating and even shaking a little. _'You can do it'_ he gave himself a mental pep-talk. _'You can'_

"Are you going to stand here all night or do you have something to say?" asked Lily impatiently, and James winced. _'This will be soon heading south in Sirius doesn't do something spectacular.'_ he thought with disheartening resignation.

As if he heard him, Sirius lifted his head proudly, came two steps ahead to the couch and then knelt on one knee, bowing humbly to Lily. She was stunned when he took her hand delicately in his two palms and brought it to his lips, kissing chastely, as was proper. He then looked from under his long, dark lashes at her and said:

"Forgive me, lady, my recent comment which made you upset. It was not truthful, and I wish to heal the wound in our relationship it made. I said this awful comment out of sheer stupidity, and I regretted it the moment it left my lips." He looked down, and repeated in soft murmur "Forgive me."

No one had the right to accuse Sirius Black of doing anything short of spectacular. He always stored an As he could pull out in a dire situation. With charm and a bit of dramatics he achieved many seemingly impossible things – and won many ladies' hearts. He was a master of turning tables at the last moment.

"Well, Sirius...you can stand up?" Lilian's statement sounded like a question, and she was obviously quite flustered.

Sirius smiled to himself secretly. _'It worked!' _He stood up, though still with bowed head, and waited as if for verdict of judges.

James turned his face away from his wife and tried to squash his grin. It barely worked, thus the next words were laced thick with amusement. In opposition to Siri, his actor skills were naught and he could be read as an open book.

"You are forgiven, Padf – emmm, Sirius." he told the man, stumbling over the nickname. He hoped Lily didn't catch the fact that he had already forgotten about the fight and wanted his buddy back.

He should know better than to think she wouldn't catch something _so obvious_. Lily recovered from the shock, and scrutinized the Black closely. _'He seems honest, but knowing him...' _she trailed off. _'Well, lets see.'_

"Do you wish to extend apologies also to Harry?"

Sirius lost a little of his composure, looking up quickly. "Em...you mean say 'sorry'?"

"No, not quite..." she pretended to think, looking around with an absent look. "As a compensation for us and little Harry I'd like you to look after him, say...a day and a night...once in two weeks?" She smiled at his look of horror – his opinion about babies was known to her, courtesy of James. But she knew he wouldn't dare to mistreat their baby – if he agreed now. And well – he had little choice in that matter - if he wanted her forgiveness, of course.

"Well...erm...I mean...Do I have to?" he whined with his special "puppy-cute-is-good-pretty-please" expression. It didn't work on Lily, because she's seen it few times, once when he was wooing her dorm mate.

"No...you don't _have to_..." she stressed "But it would be good to your godfather-godson relationship, don't you think?" She smiled innocently, doing mental dance. _'Gotcha, Sirius Black!' _

She could see his brain working. Slowly, tortuously slowly, he came to the same conclusion she had had. There was no grand escape for Sirius this time. He sighed in defeat. _'Well, it isn't so bad...It certainly could be worse'_ he comforted himself, and shook of the gloom. When he glanced up, he saw Lillian and James smiling at him, and grinned in return. _'Could be worse.'_

"We came bearing gifts, of course" smoothly butted in Remus, standing up. He then bended over the bag, and, rummaging through it, said -

"Maybe Harry will join us – if he's not asleep yet?" He corrected himself with a small pause, and straightened up with two packages, one larger than other. Lily looked questionably at him, and the werewolf smiled. "We have presents for him too, after all he is the one we're greeting today."

Lily only looked blankly, not understanding what Remus was talking about. A loud "Ahhhh!" caught her attention and she turned to gaze at James inquiringly. He gave her a shrug.

"I didn't know you don't know?" he said, managing to transform the sentence into a question with another shrug. Lily just looked, knowing that sooner or later someone will explain it to her, though she felt riled up a bit. She definitely did not enjoy feeling that was left out from the common knowledge. She thrived the knowledge with an insatiable thirst, and liked to share it with others – _not_ the other way around. So she waited.

James gave Remus helpless look, and the other man conceded.

"Okay, I'll explain." He put the packages carefully on the armchair, and turned his full attention to Lillian. "Do you know how celebrated is birth of a son in magical family, especially if it's a first child?"

She shook her head twice.

"Well...long story short – it is important to all wizards. Like – _really_ important. The celebrations might take all week, if the family can afford it, and usually ends with a Greeting Day, which is in the eight or ninth day after the birth. It is named Greeting Day because that's basically what we - those who consider themselves the closest to the family – do: greet the new wizard, or introduce him to the world. You remember the party that Malfoys had this year? Well...they also have a son now. He was born in … June, I think?"

"Offspring of Lucius bloody Malfoy and fu..." at the Lily's reproaching look Sirius changed his mind about swearing "..freaking Narcissa...I don't envy Harry at all, at Hogwarts I mean, because he will have the little git on his back."

All of them laughed at that, and spent a minute picturing 'the little git', as they titled the Malfoy heir. It was then that they realized that Peter fell asleep, snoring softly, though the expression of exhaustion didn't change. He looked ill.

"You guys know what's wrong with him?" asked James, eyeing Pete worriedly.

"No...he did explain to us that his mother isn't feeling well, and he worries, but I don't think that's his only problem." replied Remus.

"Hopefully, he'll tell us soon." James sighed heavily, and the mysterious bag on the floor caught his eye. "So, do you have some gift for me?" he pretended to blink flirtatiously at them.

Sirius and Remus laughed, and the atmosphere transformed into one of contentment. Lily raised one eyebrow, not liking being left out of some _knowledge_.

"You know we don't, you selfish pig!" Remus told Jamie, and the bespectacled man pouted exaggeratedly. Turning to Lily, he explained "Only the mother and the child got the gifts. So...can you bring Harry downstairs? Or do you want him to receive the presents tomorrow? It can wait, there's no hurry."

"I don't know if he is sleeping now...though he sleeps awfully long, even for an infant. I'll go and check."

"Maybe he's a panda bear?" laughed Sirius, and others looked at him with the same expressions, as if asking "What panda bear has got to do with Harry?"

"Pandas sleep for 20 out of 24 hours, you didn't know that?" grinned Sirius, and Lily growled at being outsmarted _again_, only half-joking. The dog Animagus obviously was back to his funny – according to James and Remus, and annoying – to Lily – self.

The three Marauders for the time being decided to enjoy the moment and forget about their problems – war, Voldemort and Peter's weird behaviour. It could all wait. Now, they had to greet a new Wizard to the wonderful world of pranks, beauty and unavoidable pain.

Lily with surprise entered Harry's room through the already open door – the light was on, and there was a distinct feel of magic recently used in the air. Could it be that Harry turned on the light with his accidental magic?

'Hardly believable... after all, Harry was born not even two weeks ago! Babies in that stage of living should barely recognize three basic colours, a flavour of milk from mother's breasts, hunger and possibly the touch of warm flesh, nothing else' Lily argued with her previous assumption, deeply baffled. 'But' she countered with a speed of soaring phoenix 'how to explain the light? James for sure wasn't here. And Harry already has shown us some things he really shouldn't know of' she frowned even when she wanted to smile dreamily, recalling his beatific smile and little giggle. 'Something is not exactly right' she summarized, adding to her mental analysis the tumour on his back and the red eye, to which she have already grew used to. 'Though, now is not the time, obviously. We'll deal with it later, when the time comes' and she promised herself to remember to mention these things to James.

She got closer to the cradle quietly, and was rewarded with a flash of her son's concentrated face before he saw her, and changed his expression to one of mindless curiosity. 'His eyes do seem a bit too intelligent' conceded Lillian unwillingly, though after a moment she convinced herself it was nothing to worry about. 'Maybe he is just exceptionally clever and skilled' she though, dismissing the worry as her paranoia 'Or maybe I did not turn it off? Or, possibly, I'm just exaggerating my baby's skills, as all mothers do?' She smiled fondly at her tot. 'Merlin knows.'

As Harry was very much awake, she just put on him warm pyjamas and tiny socks with cute nine-tailed foxes and came down. When they got to the living room, just before anyone noticed, Lily and Harry could observe a moment of unique, possibly ever-lasting friendship. Sirius was levitating Peter gently off the chair and on the small couch they'd put farther away from the other one and an armchair, James was warding the space against any noises which might interrupt sleep and Remus was waiting with an armful of blankets. Lily sighed, and all of the remaining aggravation melted away. She was home with her baby in arms, and for the first time she realized that she missed her husband's crazy friends and the atmosphere that surrounded them wherever they went. It was peaceful, loving and happy. Like in a family.

As stubborn she was, she couldn't deny it any longer – the Marauders were much more then just James' best buddies. Peter was a poor soul to take care of, Sirius was a wild spirit who needed to be grounded once in a while...and Remus was Remus, her one of bestest friends. It didn't require saying anything more. There was only one thing to do.

Introduce Harry to this never-seen part of their bizarre family.

..: oOoOo :..

**My recommendation for HP movie parody? **

"**Yet Another Harry Potter Movie Parody : Film 1" by iheartmwpp**

**Go, read it. Creates good energy. You won't be able to stop smiling.**


	7. Black Family Rules, part I

_When everything crashes down, one thing would remain – a family._

_One's love is a flame, which bursts, consumes and lasts longer that any star._

_If one feels unhappy, they should think of all those sorry excuses of humanity walking on Earth – Muggles – and one should not worry, because they are of magic, while the Muggles are not._

_The ones, born in the name and under patronage of a star, should survive when others perish in the flood of dirty blood. Let them die._

_**Toujours Pur.**_

The words were like engraved onto his skin, always at the back of his mind, hovering over his head like a protecting shield.

Even, when he felt sick and was retching into the marble toilet. Or maybe, despite it. Or, it might be because of it.

The last one was the most correct one, if Regulus had the mind to be painfully honest with himself, however, now was not the time, _really_.

The vomiting stopped and after few minutes he could slowly, gingerly stand up and remove his tired and positively aching body from the bathroom, to which door someone was knocking impatiently.

"Alright, alright, what is the fuss about..."

He trailed off when he opened the door and saw who exactly was standing on the other side. And it wasn't Sirius, as he had previously assumed, but Orion Sirius Black, a deep frown on the regal face, white instead of black hair tidied in the complicated and not at all feminine braid.

"...Father." Regulus murmured, feeling deep and well-known pang of breaking heart, because, _really_, he still expected Sirius to be at home, and to joke, and to jump and dance, and to live. In the house, once full of joy, pride and fun, now remained only pride, and even that was a ruin of it's previous state.

At the same time he felt deeply ashamed of himself, because of how he spoke to his parent, which even from behind the door, where they couldn't see each other, was an offence. Really, who other could he expect, except of his parents or cousins, Bellatrix and Narcissa? To neither of them it was a suitable greeting in the morning, especially after not coming home at the dinner time (which in itself was a faux pas), and the hangover he had was not an excuse.

Only to Sirius would he dare using such informal language, but '_Sirius's not here any more' _his traitorous mind whispered, and if Regulus could, he would be sick again. He couldn't, because the bathroom was occupied now by his father, who greeted him with reproachful silence and a glare, and by the sound of it he was now shaving – the activity that no one would dare to interrupt him.

Thus, Regulus swallowed the bile of embarrassment mixed with melancholy and made his way back to the room with a golden inscription on it's door, haughtily proclaiming _"Don't enter without permission of __**Regulus Arcturus Black**__". _He had the urge to slam the door childishly, but knew without a doubt that it would be more harmful for his already strained relationship with parents than useful, and that it wouldn't help to ease his headache _at all_.

He sat heavily on the bed, sighing deeply, hair hanging limply from his aching head, the perfect picture of misery, and continued doing nothing, thinking nothing but "Bloody hell" for an hour or so. His brooding was stopped once Kreacher, the family's house elf and Regulus' something-like-pet, felt an order of Orion's "Leave him alone" wearing off and came with a vial of Hangover Instant Cure, saving the day. Regulus dutifully drank it all in one swallow, and breathed a "Thank you" to the faithful elf, who vanished almost soundlessly, knowing that his Master wanted a time to pull himself together, as was their routine.

Except for the tiny little fact, Reg's reminded himself painfully, that made the whole "morning-after" thing today completely unusual. And the thing was …

… Regulus recalled the stranger's smile, wide and carefree, and _his_ eyes, in the colour of aquamarine, and _his_ body, and …

"Wow, you've got a cool tattoo..." - the comment made while staring at the Dark Mark, which Reg had thought was a poor joke to relieve tension...

…and _his_ shouts, and little moans, and "Oh baby..." and "Jesus Christ!" in a voice heightened from pleasure...

… and spurt after spurt of thick, whitish fluid, and then the blessed silence of aftermath, and hanging in the air musky scent...and, when Reg reached for his wand to clean them up...

...the question like a bucket of ice-cold water -

"What is that wooden stick?"

Logically, Regulus knew how _'the accident', _as he started calling it immediately after, could had happened. A Light wizard – probably a Mudblood – wanted to shine the unknown knowledge and introduced the handsome Muggle to _Enchantment_, popular meeting place for Pureblood gay wizards located behind the seedy pub in the suburbs of London. Or, some wizard wanted to play a nasty little joke on an unsuspecting Pureblood wizard, who happened to be Regulus.

_Or... _his mental voice, dangerously similar to his cruel Lord's, sibilantly dragged out..._this was someone's revenge inflicted intently on you. _

_Possible scenario, _Regulus had to admit, _thought surprisingly it didn't work._

_I slept with the non-magical man, sure. But one thing didn't make it a good vengeance plan – I enjoyed it._

His chest heaved and he breathed out a sigh.

The realization _'I slept with a Muggle', _which not so long ago would drove him into a panic mode,didn't make him eager to throw a temper tantrum He didn't feel regrets. He didn't feel guilty. He wasn't ashamed.

He was sore. His head was aching. His arse was burning. He felt many of things...just not the _right_ ones.

He felt confused, contradictory and not at all like a young pure-bred wizard, a heir to the Blacks' (questionable) fortune and a Death Eater should be feeling...

A knock to the door stopped the train of his jumbled thoughts, and he sat up straight, wiping the surprise from his expression with practised ease. "Yes?"

"Master, it's Kreacher..." the faint, hushed voice of the old house elf sounded subdued and more obsequious than normally, and Regulus in no time ushered the elf into his room. He winced when the light illuminated the bruised, just-beaten creature, and he hung his head. Sometimes he wished he hadn't cared for Kreacher so much, or that his father hadn't been so temperamental and had respected those beneath him, or that he – Reg – hadn't been a Black, member of a Dark family, but some anonymous, Light wizard... free of all expectations, of the Dark Mark, _free_...

He shook his head, clearing mind from the impossible to fulfil and thus unnecessary dreams and draw his wand, his breath calming from the mere touch to his most prized possession. He knelt before the small figure, and lift Kreacher awkwardly, then carefully lied onto his large bed and soft, dark covers.

"Lay still" he breathed almost inaudibly, knowing that house elves have excellent hearing, and the being obeyed, freezing in order not to move a single muscle. From the previous experience both of them knew what to do, and although Regulus wasn't very good at healing charms he managed to clean and close the wounds and made bruises fade from dark violet into ugly looking, but less painful yellowish colour. He couldn't make them disappear completely, even if he had the ability to, because his parents forbid him to help "the animal", as they called almost every non-human creature in the magical world, and he couldn't create an illusion to save his life, except for a facial glamouring spells. Small help was the least he could do.

The house elf in no time fell asleep and Regulus, not knowing what to do, stretched his body on the bed and drew covers around his and his pet's forms magically, not wanting to move and accidentally harm the being. He really had no intention to sleep but his body was still quite tired and sore, and he too after few minutes felt himself going into the Morpheus' dreamland.

..: oOoOo :..

He was... _underwater_, he conceded after staring at the weaving alga for a minute. It seemed to dance mockingly before him, not caring about the world, because it wasn't it's concern.

Well, _fuck_.

He was on the bottom of some lake, most probably because the water wasn't salty, and it was freezing, though it didn't seem to bother his body. In fact, _being underwater_ didn't seem to bother him _too_, and after couple of seconds he realized that he has no air in his lungs – that, in fact, they were filled with water, the same cold, dirty fluid that surrounded him. That realization send him into panic mode with screaming and kicking involved, and he discovered that he can neither move nor shout, which would seem like a _perfect nightmare, if it wasn't so realistic! _His body, inertly swaying to the gentle movement of the water, he, unable to even blink, and his heartbeat, silent, non-existent.

What was worse, however, was the overall painful beat of dark magic all around him, and he felt the twinge of fear crawling under his skin. It reeked of death, and decay – the kind of feeling you get near a practising necromancer, or in Azkaban, when Dementor glides in too close proximity. And the feeling made his insides twist in knots, and his stationary blood to pulse in his ears loudly, and his heart to beat wildly, like a caged animal, inefficiently because it didn't pump blood anymore, only fluttered ineffectively.

_It has to be a nightmare_, he said fearfully in his mind, _it has to. _

_Blacks are afraid of nothing – even Death is not a reason to show fear._

_Blacks do not please others, only themselves._

_Blacks do not beg – they demand._

_**Toujours Pur.**_

But, at the moment, the last thing Regulus wanted to think about were his family rigours. So instead, he pleaded.

With the desperation even he heard in his mental voice, which would make him cry, if he only could...

…but he could _not..._

...he pleaded for air, and for wind, and for earth beneath his feet, and for sun shining on his face, and the ability to move, and to breathe, and to speak...

He didn't know who was he directing his pledges to, titling the being as "You", but he pledged, and promised, and cried without a sound or a tear...

And he waited. And waited. And waited.

..: oOoOo :..

When he woke up he realized he was crying and that the salty tears already soaked the pillow, and he couldn't seem to stop. He was in so much mental pain, anguish, misery...

Then, he remembered it's cause, and started sobbing some more, because it was so _god damn_ depressing, and _real_, and ...

The dream felt like it lasted for _days_, and it was the worst nightmare he'd ever had. Not even the echoes of tortured Muggles in his guilty consciousness were enough to bring him to tears, but this silly dream was more than enough. It made him feel ashamed of himself and his helplessness to refrain from crying, because the salty droplets still flowed across his cheeks. He buried his face in the pillow, now hiccuping furiously. Long fingers stroked his unusually messy, wavy hair, and he leaned into the hand they belonged to – though maybe it was disgraceful, maybe he was lowering himself to the lowest level by letting the house elf, _the animal_ comfort him,... maybe...maybe...

His thoughts, jumbled and scattering like a startled gazelle, slowly calmed down to a leisurely pace. Feeling settled at the moment, he stood up, stretched and sat on the edge of the bed, closing eyes with a smile.

"Brush my hair, will you?"

It was neither question nor an order: something in-between, as was their bizarre relationship. Kreacher obeyed and with a great care managed to untangle every knot and made Regulus' hair shiny with an useful little charm. Then Reg spelled his face to look healthy and refreshed, not at all puffy and red as it was because of his long crying.

_Presentable enough_, he thought with satisfaction, feeling his stomach grumble. _Ah, and starving._

"Young Master wants Kreacher to prepare formal Sunday clothing?"

"No. Take everyday formal attire, in black and blue colours. And don't rush."

"But, Master..." replied fearfully the house elf "Master's father is greatly upset today with Master's yesterday absence, maybe not..."

"No, Kreacher." Regulus said confidently, even a little arrogantly. He wanted to oppose his father today more than usually, when he chose to ignore the purebloods' rules by not wearing only black robes at a meal or wearing jewellery not fitting the occasion. Some part of it was in order to defiantly show his independence as a wizard, but today a tiny part of it was to savour the sweet aroma of Muggle-ish rebellion. It was heady, and addicting, and …

For him, it tasted like Regulus' most forbidden fruit...

_Freedom_.

..: oOoOo :..

Dinner was a tense affair, as usual – the quietness, straight backs and impeccable manners were something easy to go unnoticed after decades of practice. Regulus long ago ceased asking his parents why they always sat at the other ends of the table (which made any conversation impossible) and ate meals automatically, without really noting the taste of the delicious meat or positively mouthwatering salad (courtesy of Kreacher) while it steadily disappeared from their plates.

_I just have to endure_, he thought morosely. In his mind he recalled longingly his visit to the Bulstrode manor, where he, along with his friend from Slytherin house David and Mr. and Mrs. Bulstrode chatted during supper about many things, from politics to the craft of spell-making. It certainly seemed to make the bond Bulstrode parents shared with their son tighten, and Regulus had to hide his envy.

He sighed heavily, lost in his thoughts, and the loud exhale of air earned him scolding.

"Arcturus, what is with your attitude these days?" asked his father scathingly. He was a harsh, temperamental man, especially since Sirius left the house and then Regulus was Marked by the Dark Lord.

The use of Reg's second name was his own show of independence and defiance, because his son's name was not the one he approved of, chosen by his childless sister Lucretia on a deathbed. As was the pureblood tradition toward dying he, the Head of The Noble and Most Ancient House of Black, had to grant her one wish, if the fulfilment of it wouldn't harm directly any of other members of their family or it's position. The man was furious when she decided her just-born nephew to be named after one of the starts in the _Lion_ constellation, the name maybe popular on the Black Family Tree, but to him still shameful. Or maybe the choice exasperated him because this was the name of his own uncle, whom Orion considered a disgrace due to the man's questionable preferences in bed partners. No one knew for sure, and no one ever asked.

After naming her wish it wasn't sure what dark curse Orion used on his sister, but the effect was the prolongation of her miserable life, though she never healed, suffering greatly from her sickness, with very little sanity left. Her faithful husband Ignatius Prewett took care of her, and the youngest Blacks didn't remember her, having met her once or twice. It was the Black family's open secret, of which everyone knew although never talked about, one of many.

Regulus knew there was no sense in quarrelling, so he murmured "Excuse my behaviour, father" humbly and went on eating. His parent ignored him.

"And what's with these clothes? Do you no longer know what day is today?" he demanded, sneering with contempt. Regulus kept his head down, though he felt heat on his cheeks. Hot with anger, he tried to hold reign on his temper. He _really _tried. But his father had uncanny ability to get under his skin, and with the next comment the dam of his resentment broke.

"Maybe sticking multiple penises in your ass did a damage to your brain?"

There were many points of view in debate about homosexuals, especially in Purebloods' circles. One was obvious – they're shameful and useless, because they don't bring heir to the family. Other – that they are intelligent and independent, concentrated not on one woman, who could manipulate them or betray their secrets, but having many male lovers, living a lonely, but productive life. There were few others, but the most popular two were widely acceptable.

Not to some homophobes, of course.

_Life is a bitch, huh Reg?_

And they argued, in the end yelling at each other quite loudly, until Walburga cried out "Enough!" and hexed them both.

Which didn't happen until two hours later.

**AN I : For those who aren't HP addicts (^_^) , Orion and Walburga are Regulus' and Sirius' parents.**

**Lucretia is the wife of Ignatius Prewett (Molly Weasley's maiden name is Prewett, and Ignatius is also Percy's second name, though for sure he is not her sibling :) and Orion's sister. **

**AN II : I'm feeling horribly guilty – all the goddamn time! But I can barely help the speed of my updates – in the last month I was sick, then travelled (also in the 30 Seconds To Mars concert – do you like them? I do), and sick again - still am. So, how was your month? What do you do to write/update faster? Do you hate me much? I do :( I promised myself al least 5k+ words in this chapter, and they're not even 3k+. But I can't wait longer – that would be bad, like – _really_ bad. I'm such a loser. **

**About a chapter – how much angst did I put there? Not enough?/ Enough?/ Too much?/ Way too much?/ "I'm going to commit a suicide" too much?/ There was any angst? **

**Honestly – please, criticize me. I need some serious kick in the ass. Hugs to you all for putting up with me! :***


	8. My first gift

**..: oOoOo :..**

"Ekhm, Sirius...what exactly is in it?" asked Lily, peering anxiously at the moving box of the size of big shoebox. It was full of small holes, emitting noises of discomfort from inside and literally _jumping_ in his hands. _'It surely isn't alive...is it? But what creature could he buy that would not be any danger to Harry _and_ in no danger from Harry's callous treatment – and also would fit in such a tiny box?' _She looked at Sirius imploringly as he stood before her, smiling.

"Open it and you'll see" he teased good-naturedly and shook the box a little, which prompted a shout from... _it_. "Come on, or she'll get angry and bite you."

Lily shrunk from the _thing, _the idea of pain crossing her mind, before kissing Harry in the forehead and handing him to Remus. "Stand back, Rem." She pleaded, and he put some distance. Turning to Sirius, she warned "And if anything happens to me, Merlin helps, I'll come back, skin you alive and transform into a bludger!"

Sirius just grinned wider, amused by her mama-bear manner and not at all threatened. He shook the box at her, and she could see a little nail, poking out of one hole. It looked sharp, and long. She gathered her courage. _'Now or never.'_ Lilian lifted the lid.

From the box, still held by Sirius, fled a pinkish, furry _thing_, and Lily thought that she saw wrong.

But she didn't.

The thing scurried on the floor and rolled like a ball, until it laid before Remus feet. Then it raised in the air again, and this time Lily did clearly see that the thing was furred and winged, shiny wings fluttering like a butterfly's. It hovered over Harry, held by Remus, for a few seconds, then unexpectedly lifted the baby up and fled over the ceiling. Lily shouted, afraid that it would drop the tot, and Remus growled, eyes flashing amber from anger. But the thing stayed there, and eventually Lily turned back to Sirius, only to find him and her husband … laughing hysterically.

"What's so funny?" snapped Lily, irritated. "And what in the world is _this_? Midget gnome with wings?"

Men sobered up, seeing how distressed Lily really was, and James came to her and spun her gently around, tilting her chin up, so she had to look at the _thing_. She was astounded at what _it_ was doing.

"See, darling..." James murmured into her ear, his breath tickling her neck and making her shiver just a little "This is a fairy."

"Emm...no? James, fairies are mean, care only about themselves and _giggle_ a lot." She shuddered at one particular memory involving Hagrid the ground keeper, a detention because she had hexed her now-husband-then-enemy and a small herd of doxies. "This thing _certainly_ doesn't look like it's related to pixies, doxies or other small winged creatures, which surely descend from deepest pits of Hell."

"Honey...It's not." He elaborated after her glare. "Related, I mean. This is an ancient fairy!" He grinned, and when Lily saw Remus getting all knowing she felt left out, not understanding something evidently obvious. Fortunately, Remus hurried with explaining.

"A fairy like this one" he pointed finger at the hovering pink thing "is a caring, helpful little housemaid and a nanny at the same time. She can do many things – from changing nappies to cleaning house and repairing the plumbing or shopping when you feel lazy. You can teach her everything you want her to know, and she'll listen to you, but mostly, she will look after Harry."

"How does it differ her from an ordinary house-elf? I mean – besides the wings and fur."

At her words, the fairy bristled and flew higher, balancing Harry on just one tiny arm, as if deeply offended. Remus chuckled lightly while Lily's glance travelled nervously between her best friend and the creature.

"I think you just made her into your arch enemy, and I have to tell you, these tiny creatures are _extremely_ vengeful. "He teased, then turned to the fairy. "What is your name, Little Lady?"

The fairy dropped from just under the ceiling to be in front of his face, peered into his eyes, sniffed and then grinned mischievously, if not a little maliciously. "You're not my Master, Mister Wolfie." She smirked and added. "And only stupid tooth fairies call themselves Little Ladies. I'm an Ancient Fairy, so show some respect, human." She mocked his attempt at being polite. "Oh, and don't talk as if I couldn't understand you. I'm not dumb."

They were a bit stunned, Lily the most, and rather apprehensive. With a subtle gesture James told Sirius that they'll have a serious talk, _now, _and they departed from living room, though leaving door open, in case the creature did something to Harry.

Lily was first to start investigation, angry and panicked about her baby. What if this smart-ass bug dropped Harry? Her eyes darting to look into the room they'd barely left, she screamed in whisper.

"What in the name of Merlin is that devil?" she glared at Sirius, who only shrugged in response, the uncaring gesture aggravating the mother even more. "I mean LOOK AT IT! She's off the rockers! I won't have that thing swooping around in my house 24/7! You'll take her back." She stated.

"Lily, we should discuss it, calmly. Don't rush, it'll get us nowhere." said James unaffected as her glare intensified, then softened. "Now, seriously Sirius, we _need_ some explanations. You know that we'll love you no matter what, right?" He asked at the meek look in his best mate's eyes, and Siri nodded "but we truly are at loss here. Why this fairy is so mean?"

"Well...the thing is – usually fairies have children by her age. She's … barren" Sirius lowered his voice and they barely heard him, however no one had to ask for clarification.

"Fairies are very, and I mean _very,_ protective. It's said that every fairy wants to have an offspring to take care of for as long as she can, and they take joy in raising kids, 'specially their own. This one...she was a sad exception in a society where being a mother is vital. When hunter met her she was wandering in a forest, seeking her end. The man convinced her to become nanny for humans, and … I bought her. You're her first owners, and she's not used to..you know, having to politely express her feelings. But don't worry!" He hurried to explain, seeing Lily's expression. "From nursery fairies are taught how to take care of babies – all sorts of creatures' babies, not only of that which can hire them. They sort of train themselves, working for wizards, then they raise their kids... After reaching their limit, elder fairies look after animals living in the wild, or are hired again... It's really save to say you wouldn't find better help in bringing Harry up anywhere else." He finished with a grin, but Lily didn't share his enthusiasm.

"Why would you think I need help with bringing Harry up?" she asked icily, thinking that Sirius considered her a person unable to raise a child for some reason. Sirius frowned.

"I didn't think you needed help...I only thought you'd appreciate it." he explained, and Lily relaxed. He didn't think her incompetent, after all. She struggled so much to be a perfect mother that she had barely been able to stop herself from strangling her sister when she commented on how thin Harry was in comparison to Dudley. Maybe she tried too hard but...Lily wanted all the best for her little baby, simple as that.

"I...It's okay, then. " She smiled, and tension all but flooded from the kitchen in one powerful wave. Men sighed with relief, quietly. All was fine. For now.

**..: oOoOo :..**

Harry _yearned_.

He tried sleeping. He tried counting sheep and toys, scattered around his crib. He even tried sit-ups, which was a total failure – such a small, disproportioned body wasn't made to attend a gym. He tried recalling every spell and potion he had ever knew, but it only intensified the burning _need._

He _had to _do some magic.

He decided for a light, pretty harmless fun. Fun with light.

_'Switch on...come on, come on, come on...switch on! Switch on, you bastard!'_ It must have been an amusing sight, little boy flailing his limbs in frustration, face red with determination, but Harry didn't notice sarcasm in his position. He never really tried doing magic without wand, simply because he never had the need to do so – his beloved wand was always _there_.

Travelling alone, searching for Horcruxes, it sometimes was his only companion, and trying to use his power without it, the wooden stick which opened a world of possibilities to him, would be a betrayal. Now however was a different matter. No warm phoenix feather enclosed in the comforting holly wood, no companion. Despite having parents _this time_, loneliness was starting to settle in Harry's heart. It felt eerily like his first memories – of dark, shabby cupboard, of being isolated, different.

Harry, feeling sorrow and longing creeping up his mind, pushed those thoughts away, focusing on his task.

'_Come ON!' _

Light flickered slightly, then more brightly, then went off.

Sigh. _'Partial success.'_

He continued, with motivation of someone having nothing better to do. After two hours, million curses, twelve "Weasley is Our King" and few breaks to pee into nappie he was done. Bubble under the ceiling listened to his mental command, switching on and off, and Harry finally decided on new competition – seeing how long he could keep light switched on.

Completely engrossed in perfecting the art (_'Don't flicker, idiot!_') he didn't notice the presence of his mum, but quickly schooled his features into practised "I'm just a drooling dumbass" when she came closer.

Lily eyed the room suspiciously, then Harry, then lightened bubble, but to Harry's relief she stopped thinking up excuses as to why the light was on, thankfully leaving the matter alone.

Bumpy ride in her arm (she was almost skipping, Harry had some suspicious why – '_James and whipped cream, obviously...'_), down the hall, down the stairs, into the living room... He almost squealed at the sight of Sirius and Remus, his two favourite adults in the world _back there, _besides maybe Dumbledore and Hagrid. The snoring lump on the couch far away _could_ have been Pettigrew, but Harry didn't want to spoil the fun by thinking about the slimy fat rat. Now was not the time to think about beheading people, even if they _did_ act like rodents most of their lives.

Harry shook the gloom off, and occupied his mind with observing the proceeding of events.

He nearly bit his tongue off when small furry hands grabbed him and lifted out of safety of Remus' arms. He suddenly found himself couple inches under the ceiling, in the gentle but sure hug of a pink... _something_. When it adjusted the grip properly, Harry saw it's face, and frowned.

Completely black, glittering eyes stared back at him. The furry pink face, tiny black nose, huge bat-like ears and violet butterfly-ish wings created an amazing sight, and Harry gazed, curious, at the unusual creature.

"Hello, Harry."

The baby realized it was spoken to after three seconds, and another couple were spent on trying to believe that this small pink ball of mystery was the one to utter the melodic sound. He glanced at the left and down, glanced at the right, saw adults at the safe distance in another room and turned his head back.

"Hi" he answered uncertainly and shyly, voice unused to producing speech. The creature beamed, showing a row of pointy teeth.

"I'm a fairy, and I'll be taking care of you as long as you'll need me" it stated resolutely. "How old are you?"

"Mmm...a'mst too." He tried quietly, and the fairy barely understood.

"Almost two...what?" She asked for clarification, thinking about years, superintelligent babies and why Harry was so little for his age.

"Wee's" he admitted sheepishly, and if not for Ancient Fairy's dignity she would've gaped inelegantly.

"You're kidding me." she breathed disbelievingly. "You..."

"Pleasss...don' t'll 'm" he begged, but without real hope. He had hoped that the confrontation about his past _back there_ would come much later – preferably decades later – but the point was now moot. '_It'll suck trying to explain it all with my lacking speaking abilities'_ he mused morosely.

When Harry glanced up at the fairy, feeling defeated, he was surprised to note she looked as if she was seriously considering his plea.

Eventually, she spoke.

"How old _really_ are you?" she questioned warily, though with gentle tone. Then she put a long finger up, and Harry was shocked she could support his seemingly much heavier body with her one arm. The tip of the finger glowed white, and she whispered "If you lie, or omit the truth, the light will change."

"'m s'v'nteen...I thin'. I...I time-trav'll't." At her inquiring glance, he added. "Back. Fro' … ni'ty s'v'n."

"And...who are you _really_?"

"I'm 'Ar Po'tr" he answered, not understanding why she would ask him _that_.

"Were you Harry Potter in your...future, too?" she clarified, catching that she previously asked about the present, when she meant the future...or, in _this boy's_ mind, the past. To her surprise, when he nodded, the light from her finger still shone brightly white. _'Extraordinary'_

Harry finally understood what she wanted to know. He supposed that the fairy had million questions to ask him now, and he wanted to stay conscious in order to answer them all, but he started to feel drowsy. All this thinking was exhausting, and his earlier playing with wandless magic began to takes it's toll on his small body.

Before he knew, he drifted off to sleep, hovering under the ceiling, in the furry arms of protective creature who decided in that moment to help this interesting boy in any way she could.

**..: oOoOo :..**

Harry slept like that dead for ten hours, and Lily started to worry greatly. Having guests sleeping over didn't disrupt the routine, but Harry...Not only he didn't eat anything at all for at least twelve hours, but he was also twitching sporadically, sometimes letting out a pitiful whimper. At first the fairy tried to calm her down and joined the group of three (Remus, Lily and Peter) who were trying to wake him by making loud noises, but to no avail – Lily was seriously freaking out, Peter panicked long ago and Harry still was trapped in whatever he was experiencing.

They decided to depart into St. Mungo's, leaving only a note for still sleeping Sirius and James.

It was barely ten am, on Saturday, but the hospital halls where as bright and as busy as always: Healers rushing in and out various rooms, people waiting for their loved ones on plastic, uncomfortable chairs, moaning patients, explaining to Mediwizards what had happened to them.

The air of tension and hurt engulfed the small group, hurrying in search for Healer Collette, who became Harry's Healer in order to keep track on his weird body changes. The WelcomeWitch said to look for her on the ground floor, and, to humans' astonishment, the fairy took lead and flew straight into the room in which the female Healer was dozing off. After Peter shook her gently awake they all proceed to the sixth floor, where Collette's office was situated.

The Healer ushered them inside as soon as they got there, and asked in no-nonsense voice:

"Now, tell me – maybe you, " appointed Mrs. Collette, seeing all four mouths open "-what's wrong with Harry?"

Lily explained their long day, night and then morning, not withholding a thing she thought may be important – from her family's stressful visit to Harry's gift from Sirius. She wondered if she should tell about the light switched on when she had came into Harry's room the day before, and decided for – she had a nagging feeling it could matter.

Remus scoffed lightly at the information, thought Lily felt less stupid by being paranoid after seeing the concentrated expression on Healer's face. Mrs. Collette seemed to consider something seriously before beginning to talk.

"There's a possibility of Harry performing accidental magic, although very, _very_ slim. Boys develop slower than girls, and if I remember correctly, the earliest recorded use of magic by a baby happened when she was three months old. _But_ "she held out a forefinger, cutting off both Lily and Remus "I personally don't think such a feat is impossible. We can easily test that theory, anyway. Please, let me."

Lily put Harry's twitching form in the Healer's arms and the female started unwrapping him from the warm blanket, then undressing from miniature pyjama he was wearing. When eventually there was only a nappy on the tiny body, Mrs. Collette held out a hand towards the redhead.

"Your wand, please."

"What?" squeaked Lily, unable to hide shock. After coming of age at seventeenth birthday every wizard's wand become a part of him, something what parting with willingly was unheard of. It was not because of tradition, but mostly due to a tight bond formed after years of using one wand for years, especially when growing up. Lilian would be barely be able to lend her wand to her husband if the situation requied, whom she trusted with her life and heart, but to an almost stranger ….

Seeing Mrs. Potter's distress the Healer hurried to explain.

"If Harry is in the state of coma due to the magical exhaustion, the thing which can surely help him is energy from the wand core of one of his parents' wands. You don't have to hand it to me " she clarified sincerely, being able to comprehend why the mother was so unnerved "just but it on Harry's body, so it will touch him, and only him. The contact with anything else while transferring energy from wand to body might cause it for example to catch a fire, that's why he's naked." Lily stubbornly remained unconvinced, mostly due to having never heard about such a process, and the Healer decided to explain it some more. "Are you familiar with Muggle inventions, such as electricity?"

Lilian bristled a little and answered snappishly "'f course I am, I'm a Muggleborn."

Healer didn't react at the animosity, but made a mental note to get the distressed mother tea spiked with Calming Draught.

"The whole thing works similarly to rechargeable batteries." Lily nodded to indicate understanding, while Peter, Remus and fairy looked blankly at two females. "They work good, until they run out of power. Then, they need to be connected with a socket to allow flow of energy. The process of sucking some magic from the wand core to a person who is drained of it works exactly as charging the batteries. It doesn't harm the wand, and while it's usually done with a person's wand, in cases of children being magically exhausted we use the closest thing – the wand of a parent. And, while the charging process is perfectly safe, owing to a cable, magic is more unpredictable and requires direct contact – hence skin to wand's wood touch."

By the end of a small lecture Lily was nodding her head jerkily and smiling, glad to understand the unknown problem.

"So, shall we start?"

Harry twitched in sleep, scrunching his face as if in pain. Lily squared her shoulders resolutely.

"Let's do it."

**..: oOoOo :..**

From the moment she put her wand exactly on Harry's bare belly, the warm glow started emitting, engulfing Harry so much that the adults plus a fairy could only see a faint outline of a laying silhouette. After about ten minutes of staring at the baby with narrowed against the light eyes Lily frowned, remembering a question she had forgot to ask before about the process they had started.

"How long it will take?"

"Well..." Healer looked a bit uncertain, and quite intrigued "in Harry's case, I have no idea."

The young mother was outraged.

"WHAT?"

"For starters, from what I know about the phenomenon of young children being magically drained – mind you, not that young – it is short, from five up to fifteen minutes. But then, I've never heard about a case when magic would visually manifest its transfer – I mean, there is no record of light involved. It's disconcerting, but for now we shouldn't worry – there's no way to stop the process, so we just have to wait."

Lily has never been angrier in her whole life. _'This imbecile Healer started the procedure knowing there's no fucking chance of stopping it if something went to hell wrong! How could she? What if Harry is drained of his all magic? What if he _dies_? My baby...' _Lily couldn't contain her fury. She started shouting, words slurred from choking her emotions and tears of anxiety.

"You reckless idiot! Do you have a child? How could you do ….."

Remus tried comforting her, but it was no use – he could have better luck trying to tame a nesting mother dragon. Healer Collette just stood there, face blank, knowing from her long experience that it was not Mrs. Potter's sense speaking, but her maternal love and helplessness. Peter sat next to Remus, feeling useless and tired, and started petting the fairy. The creature first bristled, but then settled on his knee and submitted to calming strokes on her spine.

"I have a feeling it will be okay." she whispered to his ear, not entirely calmly, but confidently.

"How do you know?"

"I can sense where the darkness and death resides, and this room is bare of it." she answered, gazing at him, and Peter wasn't sure if she was speaking about little Harry, or him. Shame and guilt welled inside him.

"You're wrong." he whispered back, brokenly. _'So wrong.'_ he thought, recalling how he spent few nights previous to visit at Godric's Hollow, in the company of white-masked and black-hooded wizards. _'I'm death, and I'm darkness'_

**..: oOoOo :..**

Harry felt exhausted, in fact more than he ever was. No, correction – maybe a little less tired than after travelling back in time to his birth day, but only a bit. _'It seems that it's easier to use magic without a body than with one unsuitable'_ he thought, feeling curious despite the drowsiness. To his surprise, the feeling of sleepiness was slowly receding, and he felt some warm, gentle force pumping into his body. It was a different kind of magic – one he had never expected to be used towards him. It felt like warm embrace of mother, smelt of her love, and when he opened his eyes, he saw brilliant green of her beautiful eyes...

_'Did I die?' _he thought, uncertainly. Something felt a bit off, but he let it be, relishing in the sight of his parents, Lily and James both now, standing above him, smiles brightening their faces. _'Hi mum, hi dad'_ Harry wanted to say, but seemed not being able to, so he grinned instead. _'How did I die?' _

"Look at him, Peter, Remy...Isn't he the cutest thing you've ever seen?" preened James proudly.

Harry felt as if someone thrown a bucket of ice cold water at him and the fuzzy happiness vanished instantly. _'Peter the rat Pettigrew no way in hell went to heaven after death!' _he thought snidely_ 'so this must be freaking limbo, or … am I alive?_'

Realization and memories of last nine days hit him like a train, along with sadness and elation. If it had been heaven, there would've be no more struggle – he could've finally _rest_. However, the present being real world created a lot of possibilities – getting to know his parents, saving the world, killing Voldemort before he gets to destroy the Wizarding Britain...Doing many good things, which might lead possibly to living shortly due to risk he had to take, but happily.

And to see the smiles on his parents' faces was worth any prize in his opinion.

Sharp pain in the region of his shoulder blades cut the trail of thoughts and made Harry hiss "Ouch", fortunately too quiet for his parents to hear him. They however noticed the grimace on his face and shouted out for Healer Collette. She hurried over to Harry and scanned the infant with her eyes – he seemed to be arching off the bed being careful not to touch his shoulders to the mattress.

The Healer quickly rolled him on his stomach. All of the watching adults gasped at the sight of Harry's back – blood pouring steadily and what appeared to be greying, peeling itself off patch of skin next to the wound. Greatly disturbed, female Healer put out her wand and cast few healing spells in quick succession. Only one of them worked, stopping the flow of blood instantly, but the wound didn't close.

The woman clucked her tongue nervously. "Well...we have a problem."

"No, really?" asked sarcastically James, on the verge of hysteria.

"James, calm the fuck down!" the use of curse word, more then Remus' tone, managed to close all of their mouths, which opened in some scathing response to Healer's previous statement. "Harry needs help right now, and we need to keep our heads. Now, Healer" he concentrated on Mrs. Collette, and she shivered while looking into his honey-coloured, anxious orbs. "Can we use Muggle bandage to cover the wound? Maybe antiseptic too. The magic doesn't seem to take effect on the injury, does it?"

"Muggle methods...yeah, this should be fine, seeing as only some spells work on our little patient. She took a big breath, then let it out slowly, feeling tired beyond her age. "I'll just go to the Muggle ward for the stuff and be right back."

She left, not waiting for response, knowing that the time is essential. _'The sooner to know what caused the mysterious wound, the better.'_ With that in mind Healer Collette was back in no time with an armful of bandages, wipes, bottles, tubes, and a small case. She put the equipment on her desk and approached Harry with moist wipes. Cleaning the blood by hand proved to be one of the most stressful things she had ever done, getting married included. With a sigh of relief she finished, only to gasp a second later.

Feeling dread clawing at her guts and numbness spreading on her body, Lily peered over Healers shoulder to look at Harry's back.

The patch of green-blue scales blinked innocently in the harsh light of the hospital lamps.

**Long time no see, Dear Readers :) **

**1) I decided on longer chapters (more than 4k+ plus loaded with action) and longer breaks between, hence this chappie. After I end this long prologue to romance story, which I intended to do quickly but the story proved me wrong, I plan to edit first two chapters (Prologue maybe too) - without deleting anything, just adding info & emotions, possibly a small other Marauders' input. They are too short and suck a little, so if you have an idea what could I add, or what I didn't add and should (i.e. ... I don't know - "What Harry thought when he became aware he has a red eye?" or something like that). If the changes will affect story I will write it in the new chapters AN so you don't miss anything. Sorry for confusion and please write to me - I'm open for suggestions XD**

**2) "ni'ty s'v'n" - means 97 in Harry's speech, which means 1997 - the same year in which the Deathly Hollows book ends (excluding Epilogue)**

"**Wee's" means 'weeks'.**

"**Pleasss...don' t'll 'm" - Please, don't tell them.**

**The rest should be understandable. **

**3) Thanks from the bottom of my heart for couple reviews who managed to get me the proverbial kick in the ass for being lazy. You have the Power, reviewers - use it well and just (*_^)**

**4) There's no sixth floor in St. Mungo's Hospital, according to the fifth book. I made it up, in order to have somewhere in the hospital wards such as gynaecological ward, cardiology ward and others, less magical then for example potion poisoning (third floor) or spell damage (fourth), but still much needed in my opinion, even in Wizarding World. **

**5) Expect unexpected - I do not like stories where everything is black and white. Every person has**

**a good side, every person has also their own Dark Side. There'll be no just black characters in my stories and no generalizing (bad guys, good guys). I try to portray people as psychologically real as I can. tell me if I'm successful :) **

**6) Oh, as I don't have a beta I'll be thankful if you point out any spelling/grammar mistake I've made in chapters one to three. I'll correct them while editing :P**

**7) That's my longest chapter ever for now : 4900 words! Yay XD**

**8) Look in my profile at the WebPicasa link if you wanna see what I imagine an Ancient Fairy to be like.**


	9. My first spell

~ HP ~ HP ~ HP ~ HP ~ HP ~ HP ~ HP ~ HP ~ HP ~ HP ~ HP ~

Scales.

_Scales._

Harry felt numb with terror and a feeling of wrongness, which penetrated his whole being.

He had scales, like a _snake_.

He had scales, like a _basilisk_.

He had scales...like _Lord Voldemort._

The thought alone made his breath hitch and for his eyes to well with tears of despair.

His mother fainted when she saw the scales, and she wasn't faint-hearted. Healers all blanched when they examined his back, the wound reopening couple times more, oozing thick and smelly blood. His own father was afraid to touch him, too disgusted, or freaked out...

Harry couldn't hold his emotions inside any more. After nine days of his new life, the whirlwind, happiness, confusion, resignation, after changing involuntarily a body from that of young adult to one of a child, after getting to know members of his family he had never a chance to meet, and losing it _all _at once, he had nothing more to do, but cry.

There was no reason for him to hold back. He _was_ a baby, after all. He was just a stupid, gibberish-speaking, primitive three weeks old human being. Maybe he had the soul and mind of a seventeen-year-old. His body might had developed faster than a normal baby's would, as Healer Collette noticed, but he was still only that – a baby.

Most of the time Harry spent in the week following his release from St. Mungo's on brooding about unfairness of the situation he himself had created.

_'There's no way I can save my parents. I'm too weak. It'll happen too soon. Voldemort is too strong. How could I change the future, when it already happened – in my time?'_

The thoughts were running in circles in his head, along with frightened recalling every grimace his parents made at the sight of the scales. It pained him to see their faces at all times now, because the topic hung in the air, contaminating whatever happiness might occur. He realized that Lily started pulling away, spending less and less time with him, and more in the company of her books. James still tried to be there, to act normally, but it was to no avail – Harry noticed his hesitating attitude, and it was agonizing to see. The realization that his parents didn't want him anymore hurt more than a Cruciatus, mostly because Harry blamed himself for destroying Potters' idyllic life due to his idiotic hero-tendencies and damned time-travelling.

It all made his depression worse, and there was no baby smile to brighten Godric's Hollow 19 these days.

Soon Lily and James forgot, so concentrated and worried about their son's physique, how Harry's laughter sounded.

~ LP ~ LP ~ LP ~ LP ~ LP ~ LP ~ LP ~ LP ~ LP ~ LP ~ LP ~

There was no problem in the world without a solution, or so Lily had thought _before_.

But after days of searching she was almost defeated – it appeared that there was no solution for the problem which happened to her baby son. It was a maddening realization, and although she slowly lose her hope, she still looked.

She wasn't one for giving up.

Days passed – a week, then two – each ended with a visit to St. Mungo's Hospital, each and every one bringing the same news from Healers – Harry was now a month-old, though his size deemed him to be a three-month-old, as Healer Collette noticed with surprise.

Day after day, each similar to other, filled with books, going to Public Library Of Sorcery on the Diagon Alley, looking for a hint, a barest clue about what might be happening to her Harry, getting home few times a day to breast-feed Harry and eat, asking James for update on how Harry's going (the answer was always "Fine"), finally getting home late and realizing when entering the house that she hadn't smiled to either Harry or James, promising herself to talk and cuddle and kiss, only to find them both sound asleep, Harry with tracks of tears on his rosy cheeks and James laying on a side, turned away from her side of bed. She then swore to make it up to them, kissed first Harry then James, and went to bed. After restless hour or two she would go to the bathroom, swallow a pill for insomnia and go back to sleep, laying on her side too, away from her husband, and tears would well in her forest green eyes.

Day after day, week after week nothing changed, although every evening she promised herself it would. She cried less and less each night, becoming numb, cold and mechanic.

_'What happened to us?'_ she sometimes wondered. _'What made us so distant, busy, closed off to each other?'_ But she never voiced her concerns, afraid of the answer.

Time passed as if in a dream.

And nothing changed.

~ JP ~ SB ~ JP ~ SB ~ JP ~ SB ~ JP ~ SB ~ JP ~ SB ~ JP ~

"What's up, Prongs?" asked Sirius through the two-way mirror. James sighed, feeling tension escape his body. Whatever happened, there was always his best friend to lift his spirits.

"What isn't up, Pads?" he chuckled humourlessly.

"That bad?" Sirius dropped his smile, concerned.

"You wouldn't believe."

"May I guess?" he tried to joke, but James shook his head wearily.

"Not now Pads, I'm not in mood for playing. I need a favour." James' business-like tone didn't bode well.

"Sure, what do you need? A hooker? One-way ticket to Hawaii? Place to hide a body? Or -"

"Sirius." the harsh tone threw the man off, but he decided not to be offended. '_I told Jamesie not to marry 'cuz it brings the worst in people. Well...what's done is done'_ Siri's jokes were always enough to make James chill out but, apparently, something changed. He decided not to pry, but go with the flow...for the time-being.

"What do you need?" he repeated, and James smiled slightly. _'Good news – Prongs remembers how to smile. It can't be that bad.'_ Sirius comforted himself.

"I want to go back to work. Inform Moody, he will cut my rentals without a question. Don't go to Department of Ministry Employee – few of Lily's friends work there, and I don't want _her_ to know." his stress on "her" made Sirius uneasy – he had no desire to make the redhead an enemy. However, there was no way he could abandon friend in need, so he nodded. "Oh, and tell Dumbledore that I am available for whatever mission he has, if it's in the country."

"Erm...yeah, sure." Sirius squirmed, being not good with words and voicing emotions, but asked anyway "Are you sure you're all right?"

"Yes, I am." answered the bespectacled man distractedly, and Padfoot changed his mind – _'It is that bad...'_ . His opinion only strengthened by the suddenly severed connection, Sirius resolved to call Marauders emergency meeting after informing Moody and Dumbledore of James' plans. _'Something must be up if Prongs's willing to go on Ministry raids and dangerous Order missions instead of spending time with his son. But what is it?' _

Despite his over-active imagination, Padfoot had no idea.

~ RL ~ SB ~ RL ~ SB ~ RL ~ SB ~ RL ~ SB ~ RL ~ SB ~ RL ~

"Hey Paddie, how are you?" asked Remus' tired voice from the fireplace. Sirius frowned, seeing the man looking more haggard than usual. '_What's up with them all?'_ he wondered rhetorically.

"I'm better than you, that's for sure. What's up with you? Looks like a herd of hippogryffs run you over or something."

Remus shrugged, wincing at the careless motion. "Full moon, Pads, happened. I still haven't recovered fully."

"What?" Sirius eyes bulged at the news and his own forgetfulness. "But it was totally a week ago!" he exclaimed, after quick calculation in head.

Remus shrugged again, more carefully this time.

"Five days, to be exact. Happens. What can I do?"

"I...you could have told me! I though you were super-busy, chasing for job or doing Order shit! I could have helped! You know, do the grocery, keep you company-"

"Pads. Shut. The fuck. Up."

Sirius did shut up immediately. Confused, he kept silent, not wanting to further aggravate his friend.

"I didn't tell you exactly because of what you just did, you know?" Remus burst. "You are always so loud, I can't stand it with massive headache I've had for the past two weeks! I hate your overbearing personality right now! I wouldn't be able to have time for myself if I did invite you, and yes! - I fucking know I'm crap at everything! First, I have an incurable disease which turns me into a monster three nights a month! Second, I can't find a job while even Peter could! Third, I'm poorer than you or James or Peter, I don't know why you even hang out with me! Fourth..."

And the rant went, on and on, until Remus finally snapped and started tearing up a bit.

"And...- and I know my mum never said goodbye to me because she was ashamed to have me as her son, because I'm gay and a werewolf, and she caught me masturbating once, and..."

"Remus!" Sirius stopped the man, having enough of the self-hatred induced rant. "I'm going through!"

"Bu-but I told you! I don't want you here! I have a headache, and I'm dizzy, and my head hurts like bitch -"

"Try to stop me." Padfoot stood up, took Floo powder and stepped into the fireplace a second after Remus' head disappeared from it, presumably to block the entrance. Sirius knew he was going to be faster than his friend. Screaming "Wolf's den!" he tossed the glittery powder to the flames and watched as the houses spun around him, waiting for his exit.

He had one hormonal werewolf to comfort and said werewolf wasn't going to stop him.

~ RL ~ SB ~ RL ~ SB ~ RL ~ SB ~ RL ~ SB ~ RL ~ SB ~ RL ~

"So...why Peter couldn't come? You said it is an emergency." asked Remus after two hours of ranting, crying and complaining about 'this time of month'. Sirius didn't even bat an eyelash at the mood swings, shouting and tears – he just held Remmy close when required, rubbed his shoulders and pretended to be a punching bag when Remus' emotions overwhelmed the man. He knew Remus couldn't help it, so he decided to just endure.

It was okay now.

"I couldn't reach him. He wasn't home when I called, he already left his office when I asked his boss, his mum at St. Mungo's said she thought he was with us...I don't know what to make out of it." Sirius admitted with defeat, plopping down on the couch beside Remus. He cuddled to the werewolf's side, sighting. "I don't know what's happening to us, Rem. I mean ...look at us! James goes all workaholic on me and keeps secrets from Lily, Peter seems to be avoiding us, you hadn't called before full moon...it's crazy! And there is also a madman with his Shit Eaters, Dumbledore, politics which I don't understand, raids, people dying and going missing every day...I feel like, from the time we went home from Hogwarts, our whole world went to hell!"

The black-haired growled with annoyance, a bit louder than he had meant to, and Remus winced. Sirius noticed and berated himself for being a selfish prick. "I'm sorry, Remmy." he hurriedly whispered, not wanting to anger the man "I know your head hurts and I'm probably making it worse. Do you want some hot chocolate?"

"Yeah, it would be nice." Remus replied, rubbing his temples tiredly. Sirius took his hand and tugged the werewolf, up and in the direction of kitchen. "You need help?" asked Remus confusedly.

"Nah, I thought I'd give a face massage when waiting for milk to heat up. It should help with the headache."

"Thanks man" Remus smiled at the black-haired man. Despite his explosive temperament, pranks and fear of commitment Sirius could be sometimes quite sweet and sensitive.

Remus hoped it would last forever, at the same time missing Padfoot's others, more infatuating traits, like the everlasting libido or flirtatious behaviour.

This whole touchy-comforting, hugging and fighting gave him a wood.

He was Sirius-ly screwed.

~ PP ~ PP ~ PP ~ PP ~ PP ~ PP ~ PP ~ PP ~ PP ~ PP ~ PP ~

Peter should have felt pride. He should have felt as if he had won. He should have felt like a hero.

He didn't.

Latest raid left him with bitter taste of wrongness he couldn't undone. There was a mother, a father, their baby daughter and a nanny. The family eerily similar to the Potters.

He killed them all.

Except for the baby, he killed the whole family of anonymous wizards. Voldemort, despite being a heartless monster, always spared the orphans, for the reason unknown to his servants. He felt sick.

But - he did it. The test was passed. He could now step into Voldemort's inner circle, which meant being granted one wish. Most asked for protection for their families, some – for knowledge, others – for position at the Ministry. He wanted neither of those.

He only wanted his friends to be spared.

Ambushed while going home from work, shortly after being employed at the Department of Magic Transportation, he knew someone from his job must had sold him out. There was no escape, and the choice was simple – he could either join or die. He chose wisely, or so he had thought.

After few 'tests' – of loyalty, imagination (torture techniques) or spell work – he realized it would never be walk in the park. So, he spied on others, more experienced Death Eaters, listened to inside gossips, made few valuable friends – they all underestimated him, which suited the man perfectly – he knew there will be a final test, test of morals and then, some might be proposed to join the highest rung on the ladder – the inner circle.

With the recent events, mainly ten Death Eaters being caught and sent to Azkaban, Peter knew there will be many placements to fill.

Kneeling before the most feared wizard in the whole world, he wondered, if the choice he had had to make, between death and lifetime of servitude, had been really the best way to go.

However, if he wanted to save his friends, there was no other path. Dying wouldn't help them. Being tortured to insanity and then found with a Dark Mark would make them suspect each other, which would soil their friendship. No, the decision had been made long ago. Now he just had to follow the steps.

Gritting his teeth in order to keep kneeling while under light though still painful Cruciatus , he imagined faces of the people he loved. James. Sirius. Remus. Lily. His mum. And finally, little baby Harry.

There was no way he could let them down.

Even if they would never know about the sacrifices he was making...they were worth all the pain in the world.

~ LP ~ JP ~ HP ~ JP ~ LP ~ HP ~ LP ~ JP ~ HP ~ JP ~ LP ~

"You WHAT?" Lily accusingly pointed a finger toward her husband. She was outraged.

"I'm going back to work. End of the story." he answered calmly. His tone angered the red-head further.

"But – but I thought you have two months holidays, you said so! - because you worked additional hours...isn't it right?"

"Yes, in theory I have another three weeks...however, I decided to go back to work."

The question "why?" hung in the air for a minute before Lily collected herself enough to utter it.

"And the reason for this is...?"

"Well...you don't need me here, in fact, it seems as if my mere existence pisses you off. Harry has the fairy, she takes care of him all right. On the other hand, there is a war just outside these walls" he gestured around himself, at the flowery wallpaper of living room "and I don't want to sit just because my wife wants so. People are dying, Lily! It's time you put your nose out of your stupid books and see it!"

"You – you imbecile, I know people are dying, I just know that right now I have my duties as a mother and my child's protector, and that are my priorities! Our family!"

"Oh really now? 'Cuz to me you seem engrossed in your own world! Tell me – when was the last time you really looked at Harry? Do you know that he cries all day long? Do you even care for our family, or do you just like the idea of having one?" Seeing his wife blush with what he thought was indignation he added "Answer me!"

Hiccup!

Lily's eyes widened up, as James' did.

Hiccup!

Lily turned around, not wanting to be seemed as weak. She wasn't weak!

James frowned. Was Lily really...

Hiccup!

'_I don't have the answer to all your questions, James'_ she wanted to say, but the tears prevented her from doing so. Steady flow of salty liquid turned into a flood and she fruitlessly tried to wipe it with her sleeve, but there was more and more of them, destroying her make-up, hurting her eyes. She sniffed quietly, not wanting to lose the fight, but not even remembering how it had started.

"I –" sniff "- I know I made some mistakes, and I want - " hiccup " - wanted to fix them, but I always thought - " another hiccup" - I thought that, maybe when I'll find what's wrong with Harr – Harry, and the solution how to cure him, then – then we'd make up, and it wou – would all be okay, and … and..."

Strong arms wrapped around her waist from behind stopped her for a moment. She then heard a "Shhh, it's all right baby, calm down", uttered with such amount of love she felt weak at knees, but she couldn't stop – she still had something to say.

"I know I - I've been a terrible wife, and a mother – I know I was, believe me – but – but I wanted to change it, every time I came home, but I didn't - " hiccup " - want to wake you up, you always seemed so tir – tired... But, I have to – just one thing, James -" she countered his "Shhh, honey don't talk, you will tell me later, just calm down baby" said in a somewhat shaky voice, as if he wanted to cry too.

"I – I love you, you, and our son, because he is ours, because he is a proof of our love, even when there will be no us, even if you dumped me 'coz I'm stupid or even when we d – die...there will be always our little Harry, part of me and – part of – of you, my love – our son, only our, no one else's..."

At these words James did tear up a little. He pressed his face into his wife's hair and inhaled deeply, scenting her shampoo, hairspray and skin. He hugged her tighter, and embraced until her sobs subsided to occasional hiccup or sniff.

He had something to say too, but decided that actions speak louder than words.

James took Lily's hand into his bigger one, walked around her and tugged, indicating for her to follow. They went up the stairs and into their bedroom in silence, neither comfortable nor awkward, and as soon as the door were closed the bespectacled man began to unhurriedly take his wife's clothes off.

They had a lot of sweet lovemaking to do in order to remind each other about the love they were sharing.

~ HP ~ HP ~ HP ~ HP ~ HP ~ HP ~ HP ~ HP ~ HP ~ HP ~ HP ~

Unknown to either James or Lily, Harry practised magic in his room.

He learned his lesson about not using all he got at once after the accident when he fell into coma due to magical exhaustion. His progress was carefully monitored by the ancient fairy, not yet named, and she also looked out for his parents who were to be kept unaware as long as possible.

Harry, after a couple of weeks of slight depression decided to fight, even if he had to die in the process of saving his parents. He was determined to change the future – to make another one, where Voldemort would be dead. Maybe in that future there'll be no Harry Potter either – no big deal, he lived enough. His parents, if he did die, would be sad, but they'd move on and live happily ever after.

Harry had only one aim, and it was simple – kill Voldemort for good, Horcruxes and all, before the power-hungry madman could hurt his parents and Remus along with Sirius.

It would be hard, he knew.

He would possibly not survive it – what's with being a baby and all that jazz.

He had to work – for as long as he could before the confrontation with Voldemort – on his magic, so he could at least kill the body Tom Marvolo Riddle was occupying right now, if not destroy or the parts of man's soul.

He had to _fight, _even if the destiny was what he was fighting against.

Harry looked at the pinkish fairy inquiringly.

"You sure they won't notice?"

He got a lot better at speaking in the month that followed his greeting to the world party on which he was given the furry creature. He still spoke quietly – his voice high and vocal cords not yet properly developed – but was now perfectly understandable. It was a big improvement, all thanks to the company he could talk to and his parents seemingly abandonment of him in recent days. '_Well...there is a bright side of every shit._' he summarised with slightly false enthusiasm. He couldn't help but be a bit saddened by the thought of his parents – he couldn't remember one smile directed to him that wasn't fake.

"Hello, you wanna do it or not?" the high-pitched voice cut off his morose musing. He shook off the gloom – there was work to do.

"Yeah, just tell me when I can do it."

"You could have done it five minutes ago – your mum was doing a blow job, so they were fairly busy. Now, we have to wait til your dad recovers." she complained.

"I beg you, spare me the details." Harry asked whiningly, although he was glad they were having sex again. The rift between them fuelled the guilt already eating him up. Maybe something will change, now that they seemed to make up. He dared not to hope for their interest in him to come back, however – his heart was shattered well enough as it was.

They waited for ten or so minutes before the groans were heard from the master bedroom again.

"Can I?"

"Yeah. Your daddy is having his head between your mum's legs though so do it quickly, you know she doesn't last long."

"Just – shut up, okay? I've gotta concentrate."

"All right, your welcome, jerk."

"Shhh." he waited a few breathes, calming his thoughts down, expelling from his mind uncomfortably sexual images of his parents doing _it_ conjured thanks to the annoying fairy. He quickly pulled his focus only to one word, and did mantra in his head. Blackness surrounded the spell in his thoughts, cutting off the outside world.

Harry exhaled heavily, feeling his magic rise.

"Accio James' wand!"

Unheard by the couple engaged in sexual intercourse, the piece of wood was snagged by the invisible force and flew to the nursery, straight to Harry's outstretched hand.

He did a little fist pump with his little hand.

_'One point to the good guys!' _


	10. Author's Notice Board

New chapter (**My first spell**) is released. **Go click "Previous chapter"** in order to read it.

I post this note only FYI, so **don't review it**!

**Author's Notes :**

To answer the question of 'A loving Fan', who posted review anonymously, nah. It is not going to be a creature!Harry fic. It actually never crossed my mind, mostly because there are so many of those and I wanted to write a special story. Harry is 100% human...just a bit different, I guess.

Sorry for being late, no excuses.

Hope ya'll like Chapter 8 "My first spell". Beta'ed by amazing itachisgurl93 xo

Love you guys.


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